It seems to me that there are alot of woman on here that ask questions about pregnancy, and in the question you find out they have a midwife that is either not listening or giving bad advice. I had a midwife with my first pregnancy and it was horrible. After that I never went to a midwife again with my pregnancies and come to find out the doctor that supervised the midwife I was seeing had fired every single one of them. I just am a little concerned with woman that go to see a midwife and don't really know much about it and wind up being put in a bad position. Does anybody else feel the same way or have ever had a bad experience with a midwife?Midwives giving bad advice?
i understand what you mean, its scary that i feel i can get advice more on here than i can my midwife, unless its an emergency i would never ring my midwife, i prefer to see the doctor, i feel i cant talk to her as she has sooooo many patients, sometimes i feel my worries are trivial and silly. i also feel like i dont have much support from the midwife, this too is my first pregnancy and i see my midwife once every 6 weeks, a lot can happen inbetween appointments! and a lot of questions slip your mind.Midwives giving bad advice?
It is not the position they hold it is the person. Some Doctors are horrible and some are wonderful, same goes for midwives.
That being said, the type of person (in America at least) who goes to a midwife likes to have a less intrusive birthing process and depend more on instinct. However, if instinct is telling you something is wrong, then they (midwife or dr) should look into it.
If I was not high-risk I would love to go to a midwife, but I also know a lot about pregnancy and my needs during it so I won't blindly listen to anyone (much to my old dr's annoyance:-).
Wow, I'm sorry you had such a negative experience. In my situation, I had bad doctors but loved my midwives. Now, as a labor nurse, where I work I can say I love the midwives I work with and trust their judgment, they have excellent clinical knowledge and wonderful bedside manner with the women and families they care for. Can't say the same thing about all the docs I work with.
I think it's all individual, depends on the person. If you have midwife or doctor you don't trust, then you should switch, and it's never too late. You need to have someone providing care that you trust and are comfortable with.
I go to a group practice or what not so i see a different midwife every time who assist the doctors or however that works. Anyway, 2 out of the 3 midwives have hit my bad side to where I wanted to just slap them. The two of them, whenever I ask questions, just respond with ';that's normal'; and don't help, almost belittling me or making me feel like they get asked the same things so much Im just another patient, another pregnant woman. I want something more personal... which is what I thought a midwife would provide.
I know women who have had bad experiences with midwives and some who have had great ones. I myself had a horrible one as well. My midwife refused to do any tests until I was passed 17 weeks pregnant. Meaning no listening to the heartbeat on doppler, she didn't listen when I complained of cramping, it went in one ear and out the other. I lost my baby at 11.5 weeks I found out at 17.5 and had to have a D%26amp;C at 19 weeks. They could have caught it sooner if she had tried the doppler on my baby, or if she investigated the horrible cramps I was having. She instead told me it's normal and everything is fine.
I'm with a doctor now because I'm high risk and midwives won't see me, but if I could have it my way I would go back to a midwife, just because one was horrible doesn't mean all at the office are.
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Given very bad advice, can i sue?
Ok, I know I was very stupid and too trusting. But here's my predicament.
I am a 33 yr old asian male obsessive about fitness. I think it has to do with my height, I'm about 5'8'; so I try to make up for it with a nice body.
I moved into a new area about 8 months ago and joined a gym. The gym has a lot of muscle head guys. A group of very large hispanic and black guys befriended me and invited me to lift with them 5 days a week. These guys were enormous so I was eager to join up with a group of guys that worked out hard and knew what they were doing.
These guys were significantly stronger, at 167lb (8 months ago), I could bench 205lb, the group of 4 others guys benched any where from 400 to around 500, yes serious powerlifters.
They said that my problem was my diet and regimen. Here's what they suggested which after much debate with them I listened to:
- 4 soy milks a day
- 4 gingko biloba pills a day
- an all tofu and soybean diet 3 times a day
- no soda, alcohol or juice, just water or soy milk
- 4 estroven maximum strengths (yes the herbal supplement)
The last one I had a big problem with but they said that its proven that estroven adds weight to body and my problem was that I was too light for serious lifting.
After 3 months, my weight actually dropped to 160 lb, but I also became significantly weaker, my max bench was 185 lb. Also, even though before following this 'expert' program I was somewhat of a horndog, my sexual appetite was somewhat reduced.
They said I probably wasn't taking enough soy milk sothey upped it to 8 servings a day and increased each workout from 90 minutes to 2 hours, mostly with slow cardio and light weights which they argued built endurance.
I am now about 145 lb and my max bench is about 135 lb (from 205lb 8 months ago). I went to a doctor a few days ago and he said that I had been seriously misinformed. He gave me several medical articles to include a few from fitness magazines (one from Mens Health).
My measurements in 8 months went from 42 chest, 33 waist, 36 hips to 38 chest, 28 waist, 39 hips. When I asked about my lack of sex drive, he said that my estrogen level was twice that of a teenage girl.
I'm not sure if my penis shrunk, but its mostly flacid these days, about 2in flacid, 4'; hard (it was small before, around 3'; flacid and 5'; hard) - I'm so embarrassed that I can't ask girls out as I could never show it to a woman, not to mention I have difficulty getting it up.
I confronted the ';friends'; and they busted out laughing saying that I was so stupid. Several of the girls that work at the gym were in the know also as they bursted out laughing. They called me many names, ***** ****, pinky dick, etc.
I was so angry, 8 months ago I would have probably tried to pick a fight but in reaction, I actually just broke out in tears and ran out of the gym. Needless to say, I will not return to that gym.
My question is, I know that I was very very very stupid, but do I have a case in taking these guys and the girls that work at the gym to court?
The doctor said that everything will return to normal except that the penis shrinkage and enlarged nipples will not - he said I would need to get surgery to really fix those.Given very bad advice, can i sue?
when i knew that this was a joke is at the end
you're penis would not be stuck shrunken
nice tryGiven very bad advice, can i sue?
Someone should sue you under the ';Internet Question Time Wasters Act';
Yes, Call A Lawyer
You could try viagra but I will tell ya what, that stuff sucks. The side effects are terrible. Have you ever tried a sexual enhancer? I was in your situation, like I said, viagra was tried but it wasn't for me considering the side effects overwhelm the pleasures of it. I found this natural herbal enhancer and figured what the heck, if it's natural it must be great and plus it said no side effects. I tried it and after about two days of taking it I was just horny like a mad man. All the time, I have erections that want to stand straight up and the orgasms are to die for. The stuff was called vigrx plus and I saved on it at the time at hughs-reviews.com , You should check it out. I love the fact it's made from a researched blend of herbs that seem to do the trick for me atleast.
Good luck and I hope this helps.
I am a 33 yr old asian male obsessive about fitness. I think it has to do with my height, I'm about 5'8'; so I try to make up for it with a nice body.
I moved into a new area about 8 months ago and joined a gym. The gym has a lot of muscle head guys. A group of very large hispanic and black guys befriended me and invited me to lift with them 5 days a week. These guys were enormous so I was eager to join up with a group of guys that worked out hard and knew what they were doing.
These guys were significantly stronger, at 167lb (8 months ago), I could bench 205lb, the group of 4 others guys benched any where from 400 to around 500, yes serious powerlifters.
They said that my problem was my diet and regimen. Here's what they suggested which after much debate with them I listened to:
- 4 soy milks a day
- 4 gingko biloba pills a day
- an all tofu and soybean diet 3 times a day
- no soda, alcohol or juice, just water or soy milk
- 4 estroven maximum strengths (yes the herbal supplement)
The last one I had a big problem with but they said that its proven that estroven adds weight to body and my problem was that I was too light for serious lifting.
After 3 months, my weight actually dropped to 160 lb, but I also became significantly weaker, my max bench was 185 lb. Also, even though before following this 'expert' program I was somewhat of a horndog, my sexual appetite was somewhat reduced.
They said I probably wasn't taking enough soy milk sothey upped it to 8 servings a day and increased each workout from 90 minutes to 2 hours, mostly with slow cardio and light weights which they argued built endurance.
I am now about 145 lb and my max bench is about 135 lb (from 205lb 8 months ago). I went to a doctor a few days ago and he said that I had been seriously misinformed. He gave me several medical articles to include a few from fitness magazines (one from Mens Health).
My measurements in 8 months went from 42 chest, 33 waist, 36 hips to 38 chest, 28 waist, 39 hips. When I asked about my lack of sex drive, he said that my estrogen level was twice that of a teenage girl.
I'm not sure if my penis shrunk, but its mostly flacid these days, about 2in flacid, 4'; hard (it was small before, around 3'; flacid and 5'; hard) - I'm so embarrassed that I can't ask girls out as I could never show it to a woman, not to mention I have difficulty getting it up.
I confronted the ';friends'; and they busted out laughing saying that I was so stupid. Several of the girls that work at the gym were in the know also as they bursted out laughing. They called me many names, ***** ****, pinky dick, etc.
I was so angry, 8 months ago I would have probably tried to pick a fight but in reaction, I actually just broke out in tears and ran out of the gym. Needless to say, I will not return to that gym.
My question is, I know that I was very very very stupid, but do I have a case in taking these guys and the girls that work at the gym to court?
The doctor said that everything will return to normal except that the penis shrinkage and enlarged nipples will not - he said I would need to get surgery to really fix those.Given very bad advice, can i sue?
when i knew that this was a joke is at the end
you're penis would not be stuck shrunken
nice tryGiven very bad advice, can i sue?
Someone should sue you under the ';Internet Question Time Wasters Act';
Yes, Call A Lawyer
You could try viagra but I will tell ya what, that stuff sucks. The side effects are terrible. Have you ever tried a sexual enhancer? I was in your situation, like I said, viagra was tried but it wasn't for me considering the side effects overwhelm the pleasures of it. I found this natural herbal enhancer and figured what the heck, if it's natural it must be great and plus it said no side effects. I tried it and after about two days of taking it I was just horny like a mad man. All the time, I have erections that want to stand straight up and the orgasms are to die for. The stuff was called vigrx plus and I saved on it at the time at hughs-reviews.com , You should check it out. I love the fact it's made from a researched blend of herbs that seem to do the trick for me atleast.
Good luck and I hope this helps.
Be Yourself: Bad advice?
Male, high school... sixteen.
Okay, I'm a really goofy guy and I can be a real jerk too without even wanting too. I've heard the relationship advice:
';Be yourself!';
A lot on yahoo answers, but I think that's a mistake if you're me. I've also heard that you shouldn't try to change yourself for anybody. Well, since I'm a genuine asshole/class clown ... would changing myself truly be the appropiate to choice to becoming a better person and in the long run entering a relationship?
I'm sixteen and I act like I'm twelve.
Continue to be myself
or
Let the masses manipulate me into being somebody I'm not?Be Yourself: Bad advice?
Why not try a little bit of both. You don't have to change your entire self, but maybe wind down the assholenes and go from there :)Be Yourself: Bad advice?
Now let me ask you something. You take on a different personality and get married to a hot girl. However, now that you are married, you have to spend the rest of your life pretending to be someone your not. And I mean not just at work, but at home as well (assuming that you plan on living with your wife). Is it worth it? Will you be happy?
However, will you be happy if everyone ignores/hates you because you are an asshole/class clown?
You need to find a balance somewhere between being yourself and being someone your not.
Think of it this way, pretty much everyone has multiple personalities, however these many personalities make up who they are. For example, is your personality the same when your with your grandma and when your with your friends? With friends, people tend to be more open and when around elders, people tend to have a more respectful personality.
I hope I make sense....
I guess it depends on a few things. Like how far through maturity you are, if your not that far, the way you act may change as you see things differently.
But sometimes, even after maturity, people hold some of the tendencies they had when they were younger. Certainly don't pretend to be someone that your not, but if you can see that what your doing is annoying someone or hurting someones feelings then some discretion would be wize.
Don't fake who you are, but don't allow your actions hurt other people if you can see that they are.
BE YOURSELF! it's just going to be soo much worse if you pretend to be this great guy, and you get this girl to fall for you and then the real you pops out and ruins everything. That has happened to me many times, and it is ANNOYING AS HELL! Trust me, there are girls out there who are immature assholes too who will compliment your personality, just be patient, you're only 16 you have plenty of time, once your out of highschool there are so many more options
no, it would **** up your relation ship because the person would have falling for hte person you really arent or your acting like, my boyfriend acts like him self, he can be a major prev at times, but he also cares for me, and he also gets mad at me sometimes... but ya, relaly be yourself, because in the long run the only person your'll hurt is yourself if your not really you.
Honestly, guys around your age take time to mature. I do believe in the lines of ';Be Yourself';. And in your case it sounds like being a class clown for right now is being yourself, so be it. I wouldn't concern yourself with yielding to the masses too much because going through your teen years you'll start to change without even knowing it.
yes, be yourself, but just be your Improved slef. u are not changing for someone else, but for your own good and self-bettering (hah thats not a word but w/e) try not to be such an asshole but the class clown thing is fine...maybe tone it down a tiny bit. try to be kinder and less of a jerk. but still let your personality shine through, just in the good ways and u willl be set!
Be yourself. My boyfriend was the class clown/jerk in high school and didn't date too much. He's 21 now and we've been together for two years. I love that he's a total clown and a bit immature. It's more fun that way. Be yourself, there will be women who are into your type of personality! Never conform to what society sees as desirable. It's tough in high school because it's all about popularity, but things will change for you.
find someone that likes you for who u are.. sometimes its okay to change a little.. but not to the point when ur not even the same person..
act mature when its needed..
for some reason ive always like the guys that act crazy and immature.. so there are girls out there that will like that.
Act your age I mean you know what is right from wrong now and distiguish embarrassing from cool right? If you can do this you could get the girl you want and always be a gentleman.
you have to put on a fake front to get with chicks. then later after you have been dating her for awhile, you can slowly revert to who you are. by then its too late lol
Be yourself. If someone truly likes you, then they'll like you as yourself.
god man i hate it when i ask a question like this and the be yourself line comes out
just act less stupid around the chicks
then they will think you are mature lol
Okay, I'm a really goofy guy and I can be a real jerk too without even wanting too. I've heard the relationship advice:
';Be yourself!';
A lot on yahoo answers, but I think that's a mistake if you're me. I've also heard that you shouldn't try to change yourself for anybody. Well, since I'm a genuine asshole/class clown ... would changing myself truly be the appropiate to choice to becoming a better person and in the long run entering a relationship?
I'm sixteen and I act like I'm twelve.
Continue to be myself
or
Let the masses manipulate me into being somebody I'm not?Be Yourself: Bad advice?
Why not try a little bit of both. You don't have to change your entire self, but maybe wind down the assholenes and go from there :)Be Yourself: Bad advice?
Now let me ask you something. You take on a different personality and get married to a hot girl. However, now that you are married, you have to spend the rest of your life pretending to be someone your not. And I mean not just at work, but at home as well (assuming that you plan on living with your wife). Is it worth it? Will you be happy?
However, will you be happy if everyone ignores/hates you because you are an asshole/class clown?
You need to find a balance somewhere between being yourself and being someone your not.
Think of it this way, pretty much everyone has multiple personalities, however these many personalities make up who they are. For example, is your personality the same when your with your grandma and when your with your friends? With friends, people tend to be more open and when around elders, people tend to have a more respectful personality.
I hope I make sense....
I guess it depends on a few things. Like how far through maturity you are, if your not that far, the way you act may change as you see things differently.
But sometimes, even after maturity, people hold some of the tendencies they had when they were younger. Certainly don't pretend to be someone that your not, but if you can see that what your doing is annoying someone or hurting someones feelings then some discretion would be wize.
Don't fake who you are, but don't allow your actions hurt other people if you can see that they are.
BE YOURSELF! it's just going to be soo much worse if you pretend to be this great guy, and you get this girl to fall for you and then the real you pops out and ruins everything. That has happened to me many times, and it is ANNOYING AS HELL! Trust me, there are girls out there who are immature assholes too who will compliment your personality, just be patient, you're only 16 you have plenty of time, once your out of highschool there are so many more options
no, it would **** up your relation ship because the person would have falling for hte person you really arent or your acting like, my boyfriend acts like him self, he can be a major prev at times, but he also cares for me, and he also gets mad at me sometimes... but ya, relaly be yourself, because in the long run the only person your'll hurt is yourself if your not really you.
Honestly, guys around your age take time to mature. I do believe in the lines of ';Be Yourself';. And in your case it sounds like being a class clown for right now is being yourself, so be it. I wouldn't concern yourself with yielding to the masses too much because going through your teen years you'll start to change without even knowing it.
yes, be yourself, but just be your Improved slef. u are not changing for someone else, but for your own good and self-bettering (hah thats not a word but w/e) try not to be such an asshole but the class clown thing is fine...maybe tone it down a tiny bit. try to be kinder and less of a jerk. but still let your personality shine through, just in the good ways and u willl be set!
Be yourself. My boyfriend was the class clown/jerk in high school and didn't date too much. He's 21 now and we've been together for two years. I love that he's a total clown and a bit immature. It's more fun that way. Be yourself, there will be women who are into your type of personality! Never conform to what society sees as desirable. It's tough in high school because it's all about popularity, but things will change for you.
find someone that likes you for who u are.. sometimes its okay to change a little.. but not to the point when ur not even the same person..
act mature when its needed..
for some reason ive always like the guys that act crazy and immature.. so there are girls out there that will like that.
Act your age I mean you know what is right from wrong now and distiguish embarrassing from cool right? If you can do this you could get the girl you want and always be a gentleman.
you have to put on a fake front to get with chicks. then later after you have been dating her for awhile, you can slowly revert to who you are. by then its too late lol
Be yourself. If someone truly likes you, then they'll like you as yourself.
god man i hate it when i ask a question like this and the be yourself line comes out
just act less stupid around the chicks
then they will think you are mature lol
Parent gone bad, advice?
well my dad is married to my mom of course but he goes on the computer and talks to this girl that has a webcam. he can see her but she cant see him. she is like half naked and whenever i go into his room he would turn off the screen or click something and i know he talks to her. i think im the only one in the family that knows. hes putting me in a position where i want to tell my mom but i dont want to.
i hate keeping secrets like this from my mom, but what if i tell her and they get into a big argument. then what? we just bought a new house and it would be very difficult considering we are barely making it.
and im more observent whenever they are together. my mom does all, and i mean ALL the work around the house. i barely see my dad making dinner, cleaning the house or even giving affection to my mom like he use to a month ago. and its not fair to my mom considering she helped my dad thorugh all his debts and gives him money when he needs it. what should i do?Parent gone bad, advice?
Normally, children shouldn't get involved in these matters, but your father needs a wake-up call - big time. Don't talk to her. It's not your place to tell her. And if she finds this out from you, the news could potentially be much more painful. Take your father aside and let him know that you're aware of his internet 'activities.' Tell him that you don't want to hurt your mother or their marriage, but that's what you'll have to do if he doesn't re-commit himself to her. Say that you know it's not your role as the child to intervene in his marriage, but his decisions affect the whole family, not just the two of them. Good luck.Parent gone bad, advice?
Anyone who says you should totally stay out of it is an idiot! You should not have to carry that burden. You don't have to tell your mom, but you should talk to your dad then. Another option would be to lure your mom into the room to see your dad herself. Then you wouldn't have to say anything. Just come up with a reason for her going in that room then she can see for herself. On the other hand, it is also possible your mom knows and doesn't care. I doubt it, but it could be possible.
that's a shame to be put in such an awkward position. perhaps you could talk to your father and let him know how you feel. he's probably aware that you know something, but if you open up to him the way you did here, hopefully he would consider the bigger picture and try to correct his actions. even though you're upset, try to still be respectful in your approach and allow him to talk, too. ';be swift about hearing'; as the Bible says (James 1:19).
Easy to type not easy to do....
Say this:
';Dad. dude. stop';
';What?';
';You know what I'm talking about, stop';
';What? I have no idea what you are talking about!';
';Just stop, or I'm gonna tell mom';
I honestly believe that should help, and hope it does.
You basically have two options: Either confront your father and tell him you know what he is up to and to quit it or you tell your mom and let her handle it.
You should stay out of it and trust me I bet your mom knows more than you think. Enjoy and love your parents and let them handle their issues.
Aww i was in the same situation except my Mum was the one messing around i don't know =( tell or don't tell im not sure its your choice %26gt;.%26lt; ur mother doesn't deserve this shame man %26gt;.%26lt; good luck
i hate keeping secrets like this from my mom, but what if i tell her and they get into a big argument. then what? we just bought a new house and it would be very difficult considering we are barely making it.
and im more observent whenever they are together. my mom does all, and i mean ALL the work around the house. i barely see my dad making dinner, cleaning the house or even giving affection to my mom like he use to a month ago. and its not fair to my mom considering she helped my dad thorugh all his debts and gives him money when he needs it. what should i do?Parent gone bad, advice?
Normally, children shouldn't get involved in these matters, but your father needs a wake-up call - big time. Don't talk to her. It's not your place to tell her. And if she finds this out from you, the news could potentially be much more painful. Take your father aside and let him know that you're aware of his internet 'activities.' Tell him that you don't want to hurt your mother or their marriage, but that's what you'll have to do if he doesn't re-commit himself to her. Say that you know it's not your role as the child to intervene in his marriage, but his decisions affect the whole family, not just the two of them. Good luck.Parent gone bad, advice?
Anyone who says you should totally stay out of it is an idiot! You should not have to carry that burden. You don't have to tell your mom, but you should talk to your dad then. Another option would be to lure your mom into the room to see your dad herself. Then you wouldn't have to say anything. Just come up with a reason for her going in that room then she can see for herself. On the other hand, it is also possible your mom knows and doesn't care. I doubt it, but it could be possible.
that's a shame to be put in such an awkward position. perhaps you could talk to your father and let him know how you feel. he's probably aware that you know something, but if you open up to him the way you did here, hopefully he would consider the bigger picture and try to correct his actions. even though you're upset, try to still be respectful in your approach and allow him to talk, too. ';be swift about hearing'; as the Bible says (James 1:19).
Easy to type not easy to do....
Say this:
';Dad. dude. stop';
';What?';
';You know what I'm talking about, stop';
';What? I have no idea what you are talking about!';
';Just stop, or I'm gonna tell mom';
I honestly believe that should help, and hope it does.
You basically have two options: Either confront your father and tell him you know what he is up to and to quit it or you tell your mom and let her handle it.
You should stay out of it and trust me I bet your mom knows more than you think. Enjoy and love your parents and let them handle their issues.
Aww i was in the same situation except my Mum was the one messing around i don't know =( tell or don't tell im not sure its your choice %26gt;.%26lt; ur mother doesn't deserve this shame man %26gt;.%26lt; good luck
Was this bad advice for a counsellor to give?
a little while ago i went to see a counsellor for help to stop self harm, when i tried talking to her about it and explaining i need some help to stop it felt like she was convincing me to keep it up! she said 'well it is only a problem if you see it as a problem and if your not ready to stop then don't' and that was that ... she did tell me some ways to deal with it but most of what she said was telling me it's not really a problem and loads of people do it so there is no need to worry as long as i keep the cuts clean it's fine and it didn't seem like she was taking me seriously, she rarely carried on the convosation and we didn't talk about why i do it or aything i was just expecting a different reaction, was this normal for a counsellor? i just thought they would be a little more helpfull and understanding and im a little confused
thankyou for your answer
xxWas this bad advice for a counsellor to give?
Wow I would definitely suggest you get a different counsellorWas this bad advice for a counsellor to give?
Okay, judging by the way you worded this question, you think the counselor should have told you to stop. Maybe you were hoping after what you told her she would try to convince you that cutting is bad and you need help. She basically contradicted everything you were EXPECTING to hear. Things that you already know.
Sounds like reverse-psychology.
She probably heard something in your conversion that made her think you hurt yourself for attention and didn't want to give you that satisfaction. It's obvious that her ignoring your behavior got you to think (and write) about how cutting isn't okay, even though you already know it. Hearing it's ';common'; for people to hurt themselves doesn't make you the only victim. Is that what you didn't want to hear?
If you ARE cutting for attention and not because you have a mental disorder or have been seriously traumatized, I'd tell you to at least clean up your mess too.
If you do have a mental disorder or have been seriously traumatized, please see a psychologist- not a counselor. The best a councilor can do is refer you to a psychologist. Find one! And quit cutting- you know there's a better way to deal.
wow lucky, i wish someone would tell me that! just kidding. no thats messed up. i mean shes right that youll only stop when you WANT to, but thats messed up. find a new doc
well first off, sometimes counselors just suck. They're people too and sometimes like some people they're pretty bad. I know one personally that had a shotgun in her mouth in front of her kids. But yet shes a child counselor. And this lady doesn't sound particularly all that great. If the self harm is really just mild things like cutting then of course it isn't really a horrible thing because cuts on you don't really affect your physical well being at all. But any counselor should know that its a call for psychological attention and that there are other problems behind it, so yes she should have been trying to find those problems and work them out with you. I would suggest finding a different counselor as there are lots of ways to heal the psyche behind a masochistic complex.
ya thats total bad advice, shes horrible
I don't necessarily think that's bad advice, actually. Legally she's not in a position to make you feel uncomfortable in any way and if it's possible suggesting or attempting to force you to cease something of which you have no intention, then she's unlikely to.
Ultimately, she's looking out for your health and well-being and she's there to talk to, if she's only a therapist / counsellor, she's technically not obliged to give you the third degree in terms of psychological analysis, that's left to both clinical psychologists and psychiatrists.
ok this is a bad counsellor! i have counselling and so i know this is not right. some counsellors are better at dealing with some problems better than others but this was rubbish guidance. Try to get in with a different counsellor. Lots of people have to try a couple because they dont like or feel comfortable with one or cos they are not very good. You go to them for help and to understand yourself. A counsellor should talk through it with you, ask you why you do it and get you to question yourself and your behaviour. She should help you think of strategies that may assist you in stoping this self harm.
One suggestion i would like to make for you sweetie is in the meantime when you feel the need to harm yourself see if you can do it to a pillow or other material instead. Get material to rip/cut up. You may find that once you have let out some energy and the need for release has been met in another way the feeling that makes u want to hurt urself subsides. please try it it may help cut down how often you do it.
Make sure you find a new counsellor
Take care xx
Yeah that is a little weird.
However my counselor said the same thing about keeping them clean. I think she figures that since she's probably not going to magically make you stop, then she might as well help you be safe in the meantime. It seems like she would try to play it down in order to not make you feel like there is something totally wrong with you, causing you to turn to more extreme measures.
yeah thats ****** up. for sure tell someone about it or go see another counselor.
whenever i think abt ppl cutting themselves i think about the casual friday episode on the office now. when michael goes ';do i think they should be slitting their wrists for me?? NO id like a microscopic version of that.'; his smirk is priceless. oh michael scott.
im sorry that was rude and unhelpful. wasnt it?
It IS a problem, but my therapist told me the same thing. She was most likely trying to reassure you that you aren't alone in suffering this way. As for keeping the cuts clean, that is smart advice because she knows just telling you to stop would not be realistic. You can't stop cutting unless you find other ways to cope with your depression/anger/anxiety; in other words, you can't stop until you're ready. Talk more without about ways to distract yourself from your need to cut or ask her more about your psychological motivations. I'm betting she did take your confession seriously; if you're a minor then your parents know by now (if they didn't already). I was confused by my therapist's reaction at first as well, but you should remember that they have seen this behavior several times over their careers. Good luck with your recovery =]
wtf? no way. you know you should get help for this and thats way good of you to go in the first place (Y) NO way should they be saying that? tell someone, whata dick. x
Well, maybe you took it in slightly the wrong way. I know from experience that when you try to stop 'cold turkey' as they say, you can just end up going back and harming yourself worse than you did before. Plus, there's no way you're going to stop if you don't want to yourself because once you've got to that point, you're already half way there. You should confront your counsellor about this and she'll probably apologise and tell you what she meant in detail. She is taking you seriously - that's what they're there to do. Plus, you're there for a serious reason and she knows that - people don't get sent to counsellors for nothing and she won't judge you. Don't take her comments to heart. Hope this helps.
~xoxox
You have a very good counsellor. Forget the air-heads above,they're thinking like spoilt 12-year-olds. Immature. She was just trying to keep things smooth,that's all. As a counsellor she has to develop a trusting relationship with you and she won't do that too well by moaning and critisizing. She also will feel that being too critical will just get you more upset and so lead to more self-harm.....entirely not what the interview should achieve,eh? Oil on troubled waters was what she was doing. Keep everything calm and smooth. Good thing too. She can't get everything done in one interview and she won't want to put you off from having another interview,so she can't be too critical......she suggested some ways to help and that's lovely. What she can't do is muck everything up before it gets anywhere. So be kind to her...she's being kind to you. Far from being the bad counsellor the others up there are saying,she's actually very good. Sometimes the best ways look wrong,but after a bit of thought the real story gets more visible...of course if that sort of thinking is beyond people they are never going to get help because they will just see everything in the same way they are used too. Counsellors know that. Some people will never accept advice that would mean changing how they think and will just get more angry and then blame the counsellor....can't do much about that. She's being calm about it. That's pretty good. Some people won't see that,but that's the same problem I've just been on about...You can see it hapenning above here. The first one is more interested in herself by referring you to her question and the next half-dozen blame the counsellor!...Only Tay got it good.......nice one,Tay.....Gotta chuckle sometimes,the way kids think...We all got problems...counsellors get loads of them...probably go to counsellors about it too.....so be nice to yourself,start liking things more...especially you..and that nice counsellor..she's doing ok,being real nice to you.... .summer's comin'...it's too good to waste...Best of luck.....
naw, its not that bad.
my consular said the same thing, and she gave me someways to stop when i'm ready.
wow, that's kinda messed up.
you should mention these to the councelor.
She's obviously not very good at her job if you were telling her you wanted to give up but she was tellling you it was ok to do it, she was not listening to you. You need to get another counsellor.
If you are physically cutting yourself then get to a hospital. Never damage yourself.
Most psychologists entered into the profession in an attempt to understand their own preoccupation with their pain. Many pscyhologists and counsellors use their patients as a way of convincing themselves that they are not as bad as they feel or as a way of projecting their pain onto others. Many pschologists are cruel and torturous because it is a control position over vulnerable people. If you feel that someone is sending you into a maze you are probably right. There is no therapuetic value to feeling confused and offended. Healing should always be gentle and easy. Anything else is poison. Do not let anyone ever tell you otherwise.
However I think that you found a tremendously valuable piece of information here. The people in your life, the ones around you, have an interest in your pain. So long as you continue to harm yourself you are vulnerable. They are getting a benefit. They are able to obtain control over you.
If you look carefully at the kind of self harm that you are doing and if you follow the thread backwards in time it will lead you to someone who originally harmed you. The perpetrator harmed you so insidiously that the messages implanted so deep into your mind that your mind started to take over the task automatically. You are in danger and the enemy is very near to you. Get very quiet and watch. The people closest to you are not interested in your happiness. They are saying that they are but they are actually enjoying watching and keeping you in pain.
You are very smart because you reached out for help but it is not enough. You are choosing to get help from people who want to profit from your pain even though they appear to be offering you support.
In my opinion you are in a trap. The moment those surrounding you begin to sense that you see the trap they will move in closer. The most dangerous time in an abusive relationship is when you try to leave. You are not doing this to yourself. It is being done to you and you do not know it.
Start listening instead of talking. The perpetrators will reveal themselves. You must be very smart and not tell anyone what you are doing. You must become very quiet and watch for the trap. This is how it will appear:
The perpetrators will ALWAYS come as ';do gooders'; and be ';concerned'; for you. They will ALWAYS criticize you. They will reduce the value of everything you say or do to zero. Just look at your counsellor. Your counsellor reduced to zero the value of your insight. Now look at others in your life. Are your contributions to your family or social structure blocked and devalued even though they are amazing contributions or could be. Now see the trap. If everyone tells you that you are bad, or useless, or not competent, or need them to control your life then you will drink that message over and over and over until it pollutes your mind and your mind will start to think the same way. Little by little you have to change this. Start watching others. See what they feed you. If it reduces you it is poison. If it means you should do something you do not want to do it is poison. If it damages your happiness or health it is poison. It can come from ANY SOURCE. It can come from a mother, a priest, a counsellor, a friend, a husband. The only person who will never do this to you is your dog.
If you are physically cutting yourself then you should get yourself to a hospital. You need to stop cutting yourself physically and emotionally and mentally. You deserve good help.
You need to get away from those who are torturing you. No one does this to themselves. It is a learned behaviour.
Here is a wonderful book. It is called The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz. You can buy it from Amazon and it does not cost much at all. Make these four agreements with yourself and you will change your life. Then read True Love by Thich Nhat Hahn.
I imagine some people/counselors get burned out dealing with people who self-harm all the time. Most often, you will not stop cutting anyways. It's like ';beating a dead horse';, or ';one ear and out the other'; kind of thing. People loose sympathy sometimes. I know I get really tired of hearing about ';so and so'; that mutilated their arms because something did not go their way, or because they needed some attention. It gets old after a while. You can't help those who won't help themselves.
http://uk.answers.yahoo.com/question/ind鈥?/a>art mask
thankyou for your answer
xxWas this bad advice for a counsellor to give?
Wow I would definitely suggest you get a different counsellorWas this bad advice for a counsellor to give?
Okay, judging by the way you worded this question, you think the counselor should have told you to stop. Maybe you were hoping after what you told her she would try to convince you that cutting is bad and you need help. She basically contradicted everything you were EXPECTING to hear. Things that you already know.
Sounds like reverse-psychology.
She probably heard something in your conversion that made her think you hurt yourself for attention and didn't want to give you that satisfaction. It's obvious that her ignoring your behavior got you to think (and write) about how cutting isn't okay, even though you already know it. Hearing it's ';common'; for people to hurt themselves doesn't make you the only victim. Is that what you didn't want to hear?
If you ARE cutting for attention and not because you have a mental disorder or have been seriously traumatized, I'd tell you to at least clean up your mess too.
If you do have a mental disorder or have been seriously traumatized, please see a psychologist- not a counselor. The best a councilor can do is refer you to a psychologist. Find one! And quit cutting- you know there's a better way to deal.
wow lucky, i wish someone would tell me that! just kidding. no thats messed up. i mean shes right that youll only stop when you WANT to, but thats messed up. find a new doc
well first off, sometimes counselors just suck. They're people too and sometimes like some people they're pretty bad. I know one personally that had a shotgun in her mouth in front of her kids. But yet shes a child counselor. And this lady doesn't sound particularly all that great. If the self harm is really just mild things like cutting then of course it isn't really a horrible thing because cuts on you don't really affect your physical well being at all. But any counselor should know that its a call for psychological attention and that there are other problems behind it, so yes she should have been trying to find those problems and work them out with you. I would suggest finding a different counselor as there are lots of ways to heal the psyche behind a masochistic complex.
ya thats total bad advice, shes horrible
I don't necessarily think that's bad advice, actually. Legally she's not in a position to make you feel uncomfortable in any way and if it's possible suggesting or attempting to force you to cease something of which you have no intention, then she's unlikely to.
Ultimately, she's looking out for your health and well-being and she's there to talk to, if she's only a therapist / counsellor, she's technically not obliged to give you the third degree in terms of psychological analysis, that's left to both clinical psychologists and psychiatrists.
ok this is a bad counsellor! i have counselling and so i know this is not right. some counsellors are better at dealing with some problems better than others but this was rubbish guidance. Try to get in with a different counsellor. Lots of people have to try a couple because they dont like or feel comfortable with one or cos they are not very good. You go to them for help and to understand yourself. A counsellor should talk through it with you, ask you why you do it and get you to question yourself and your behaviour. She should help you think of strategies that may assist you in stoping this self harm.
One suggestion i would like to make for you sweetie is in the meantime when you feel the need to harm yourself see if you can do it to a pillow or other material instead. Get material to rip/cut up. You may find that once you have let out some energy and the need for release has been met in another way the feeling that makes u want to hurt urself subsides. please try it it may help cut down how often you do it.
Make sure you find a new counsellor
Take care xx
Yeah that is a little weird.
However my counselor said the same thing about keeping them clean. I think she figures that since she's probably not going to magically make you stop, then she might as well help you be safe in the meantime. It seems like she would try to play it down in order to not make you feel like there is something totally wrong with you, causing you to turn to more extreme measures.
yeah thats ****** up. for sure tell someone about it or go see another counselor.
whenever i think abt ppl cutting themselves i think about the casual friday episode on the office now. when michael goes ';do i think they should be slitting their wrists for me?? NO id like a microscopic version of that.'; his smirk is priceless. oh michael scott.
im sorry that was rude and unhelpful. wasnt it?
It IS a problem, but my therapist told me the same thing. She was most likely trying to reassure you that you aren't alone in suffering this way. As for keeping the cuts clean, that is smart advice because she knows just telling you to stop would not be realistic. You can't stop cutting unless you find other ways to cope with your depression/anger/anxiety; in other words, you can't stop until you're ready. Talk more without about ways to distract yourself from your need to cut or ask her more about your psychological motivations. I'm betting she did take your confession seriously; if you're a minor then your parents know by now (if they didn't already). I was confused by my therapist's reaction at first as well, but you should remember that they have seen this behavior several times over their careers. Good luck with your recovery =]
wtf? no way. you know you should get help for this and thats way good of you to go in the first place (Y) NO way should they be saying that? tell someone, whata dick. x
Well, maybe you took it in slightly the wrong way. I know from experience that when you try to stop 'cold turkey' as they say, you can just end up going back and harming yourself worse than you did before. Plus, there's no way you're going to stop if you don't want to yourself because once you've got to that point, you're already half way there. You should confront your counsellor about this and she'll probably apologise and tell you what she meant in detail. She is taking you seriously - that's what they're there to do. Plus, you're there for a serious reason and she knows that - people don't get sent to counsellors for nothing and she won't judge you. Don't take her comments to heart. Hope this helps.
~xoxox
You have a very good counsellor. Forget the air-heads above,they're thinking like spoilt 12-year-olds. Immature. She was just trying to keep things smooth,that's all. As a counsellor she has to develop a trusting relationship with you and she won't do that too well by moaning and critisizing. She also will feel that being too critical will just get you more upset and so lead to more self-harm.....entirely not what the interview should achieve,eh? Oil on troubled waters was what she was doing. Keep everything calm and smooth. Good thing too. She can't get everything done in one interview and she won't want to put you off from having another interview,so she can't be too critical......she suggested some ways to help and that's lovely. What she can't do is muck everything up before it gets anywhere. So be kind to her...she's being kind to you. Far from being the bad counsellor the others up there are saying,she's actually very good. Sometimes the best ways look wrong,but after a bit of thought the real story gets more visible...of course if that sort of thinking is beyond people they are never going to get help because they will just see everything in the same way they are used too. Counsellors know that. Some people will never accept advice that would mean changing how they think and will just get more angry and then blame the counsellor....can't do much about that. She's being calm about it. That's pretty good. Some people won't see that,but that's the same problem I've just been on about...You can see it hapenning above here. The first one is more interested in herself by referring you to her question and the next half-dozen blame the counsellor!...Only Tay got it good.......nice one,Tay.....Gotta chuckle sometimes,the way kids think...We all got problems...counsellors get loads of them...probably go to counsellors about it too.....so be nice to yourself,start liking things more...especially you..and that nice counsellor..she's doing ok,being real nice to you.... .summer's comin'...it's too good to waste...Best of luck.....
naw, its not that bad.
my consular said the same thing, and she gave me someways to stop when i'm ready.
wow, that's kinda messed up.
you should mention these to the councelor.
She's obviously not very good at her job if you were telling her you wanted to give up but she was tellling you it was ok to do it, she was not listening to you. You need to get another counsellor.
If you are physically cutting yourself then get to a hospital. Never damage yourself.
Most psychologists entered into the profession in an attempt to understand their own preoccupation with their pain. Many pscyhologists and counsellors use their patients as a way of convincing themselves that they are not as bad as they feel or as a way of projecting their pain onto others. Many pschologists are cruel and torturous because it is a control position over vulnerable people. If you feel that someone is sending you into a maze you are probably right. There is no therapuetic value to feeling confused and offended. Healing should always be gentle and easy. Anything else is poison. Do not let anyone ever tell you otherwise.
However I think that you found a tremendously valuable piece of information here. The people in your life, the ones around you, have an interest in your pain. So long as you continue to harm yourself you are vulnerable. They are getting a benefit. They are able to obtain control over you.
If you look carefully at the kind of self harm that you are doing and if you follow the thread backwards in time it will lead you to someone who originally harmed you. The perpetrator harmed you so insidiously that the messages implanted so deep into your mind that your mind started to take over the task automatically. You are in danger and the enemy is very near to you. Get very quiet and watch. The people closest to you are not interested in your happiness. They are saying that they are but they are actually enjoying watching and keeping you in pain.
You are very smart because you reached out for help but it is not enough. You are choosing to get help from people who want to profit from your pain even though they appear to be offering you support.
In my opinion you are in a trap. The moment those surrounding you begin to sense that you see the trap they will move in closer. The most dangerous time in an abusive relationship is when you try to leave. You are not doing this to yourself. It is being done to you and you do not know it.
Start listening instead of talking. The perpetrators will reveal themselves. You must be very smart and not tell anyone what you are doing. You must become very quiet and watch for the trap. This is how it will appear:
The perpetrators will ALWAYS come as ';do gooders'; and be ';concerned'; for you. They will ALWAYS criticize you. They will reduce the value of everything you say or do to zero. Just look at your counsellor. Your counsellor reduced to zero the value of your insight. Now look at others in your life. Are your contributions to your family or social structure blocked and devalued even though they are amazing contributions or could be. Now see the trap. If everyone tells you that you are bad, or useless, or not competent, or need them to control your life then you will drink that message over and over and over until it pollutes your mind and your mind will start to think the same way. Little by little you have to change this. Start watching others. See what they feed you. If it reduces you it is poison. If it means you should do something you do not want to do it is poison. If it damages your happiness or health it is poison. It can come from ANY SOURCE. It can come from a mother, a priest, a counsellor, a friend, a husband. The only person who will never do this to you is your dog.
If you are physically cutting yourself then you should get yourself to a hospital. You need to stop cutting yourself physically and emotionally and mentally. You deserve good help.
You need to get away from those who are torturing you. No one does this to themselves. It is a learned behaviour.
Here is a wonderful book. It is called The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz. You can buy it from Amazon and it does not cost much at all. Make these four agreements with yourself and you will change your life. Then read True Love by Thich Nhat Hahn.
I imagine some people/counselors get burned out dealing with people who self-harm all the time. Most often, you will not stop cutting anyways. It's like ';beating a dead horse';, or ';one ear and out the other'; kind of thing. People loose sympathy sometimes. I know I get really tired of hearing about ';so and so'; that mutilated their arms because something did not go their way, or because they needed some attention. It gets old after a while. You can't help those who won't help themselves.
http://uk.answers.yahoo.com/question/ind鈥?/a>
Is this bad advice from my doctor for diabetes and my diet?
I generally eat a very healthy whole food diet for the most part. By volume. it is over 60 or more produce with a wide variety of produce maybe 15-20 kinds of veggies and 5-6 kinds of fruit a day, 90% whole grains, free range meats maybe 4-5 meals a week, healthy fats, nuts and seeds and occasional free range dairy/eggs.
I kept a food dairy for 4 days..when I gave it to her, she checked off every fruit and grains..told me not to eat kashi buckwheat pancakes, oatmeal, brown rice, tabouli, brown rice or whole grain spaghetti and every fruit such as berries, apples, grapes, etc except unsweetened lemons she said I could have.
I have metabolic syndrome and possibly diabetes along the last aic was 5.9 just under the 6.0 wire.
I think it is unhealthy to leave out all carbs like that..the grains are complex carbs and although the fruit is considered simple sugar, it does have fiber to help it.
Is this good advice or should I continue eating as I do and work towards improving the occasional messups.
I am not sure what regular doctors recommend with blood sugar problems on diet..my doctor is an allopath but she is very, very into alternative health.
Are whole grains and fruits bad for me to eat. I am worried as my blood sugar was high today as I messed up and went to a Chinese buffet and this has me thinking if I should avoid carbs.
I had heard eating low on the glycemic index was good for blood sugar.Is this bad advice from my doctor for diabetes and my diet?
Seriously, I would check out Dr Mercola's Nutrition Plan on his website. It would be a big mistake not too.Is this bad advice from my doctor for diabetes and my diet?
I think you seriously need a different doctor who has more connection with reality and science. I would suggest looking at the details of what you are eating and look a couple of diabetes resource sites that will evaluate your diet contents without a political attitude mixed in.
I kept a food dairy for 4 days..when I gave it to her, she checked off every fruit and grains..told me not to eat kashi buckwheat pancakes, oatmeal, brown rice, tabouli, brown rice or whole grain spaghetti and every fruit such as berries, apples, grapes, etc except unsweetened lemons she said I could have.
I have metabolic syndrome and possibly diabetes along the last aic was 5.9 just under the 6.0 wire.
I think it is unhealthy to leave out all carbs like that..the grains are complex carbs and although the fruit is considered simple sugar, it does have fiber to help it.
Is this good advice or should I continue eating as I do and work towards improving the occasional messups.
I am not sure what regular doctors recommend with blood sugar problems on diet..my doctor is an allopath but she is very, very into alternative health.
Are whole grains and fruits bad for me to eat. I am worried as my blood sugar was high today as I messed up and went to a Chinese buffet and this has me thinking if I should avoid carbs.
I had heard eating low on the glycemic index was good for blood sugar.Is this bad advice from my doctor for diabetes and my diet?
Seriously, I would check out Dr Mercola's Nutrition Plan on his website. It would be a big mistake not too.Is this bad advice from my doctor for diabetes and my diet?
I think you seriously need a different doctor who has more connection with reality and science. I would suggest looking at the details of what you are eating and look a couple of diabetes resource sites that will evaluate your diet contents without a political attitude mixed in.
Advice on kisses, i thought this was bad but what do you think?
It was a very clumsy kiss after alot of ciggarettes and alcohol. I enjoyed it because i really liked the girl. She came in for the 2nd kiss later on... so it couldn't have been all that bad could it? or is clumsyness and ciggarettes bad?? i really like her and i know how the first kiss is important.Advice on kisses, i thought this was bad but what do you think?
Maybe she will be too drunk to remember. Then, you can do it all over again (not drunk and maybe not so smokey)!Advice on kisses, i thought this was bad but what do you think?
cigarettes and alcohol...very bad for a first kiss
Maybe she will be too drunk to remember. Then, you can do it all over again (not drunk and maybe not so smokey)!Advice on kisses, i thought this was bad but what do you think?
cigarettes and alcohol...very bad for a first kiss
Have any parents suffered from bad, or insensitive, advice given in message boards such as this?
I am a parent of a toddler myself and have asked and responded to questions via Y! Answers and was wondering how much reliance we are putting on networking services such as these.Have any parents suffered from bad, or insensitive, advice given in message boards such as this?
I would hope parents take advice here with a grain of salt and instead of relying on them fully seek advice from other sources, because some people here and not really trying to help or do give honest answers that might be incorrect.Have any parents suffered from bad, or insensitive, advice given in message boards such as this?
This is the reason I always provide links to actual published material on this subject.... also I make sure that I stay open minded, when I chose answers that I will heed. I make sure that they have good sources provided for the information they are giving. As always your best source in your mothinly instinct.... you always have to put in the ';what if'; factor into everything you do, and any advice you are givin
I have asked and answered questions on this site the trick is too read the answers and use your best judgment alot of the answers are good but there are a few idiots that get real stupid.....
I think places like Y Answers are great just for feeling validated as a mom. Of course you cant believe most of the stuff on here, but it makes me feel a lot better to see that other moms have the same concerns. When I answer a question, I do so to the best of my ability. If I'm not sure, I usually don't answer. I really enjoy reading all the silly stuff on here tho.
No. Sweets and late nights are good for kids.
I think with any advice given by the average person you have to make the personal decision whether it is good or bad advice.
These message boards are not really an effective way to get answers to certain questions. Babycenter.com is a very good website where you can get serious answers and help, and share experiences about babies and children. Just use yahoo ansswers to laugh at people's silly questions, i.e. I have fallen in the loo, what should I do?' 'Can I bleach my face?' etc etc.
If you ask a question and are uncomfortable with an answer then it probably is bad advice. There is some good information on here but I have seen more bad than good. Go with your gut when you're getting advice. If you are unsure you can try another source to compare information.
I would hope parents take advice here with a grain of salt and instead of relying on them fully seek advice from other sources, because some people here and not really trying to help or do give honest answers that might be incorrect.Have any parents suffered from bad, or insensitive, advice given in message boards such as this?
This is the reason I always provide links to actual published material on this subject.... also I make sure that I stay open minded, when I chose answers that I will heed. I make sure that they have good sources provided for the information they are giving. As always your best source in your mothinly instinct.... you always have to put in the ';what if'; factor into everything you do, and any advice you are givin
I have asked and answered questions on this site the trick is too read the answers and use your best judgment alot of the answers are good but there are a few idiots that get real stupid.....
I think places like Y Answers are great just for feeling validated as a mom. Of course you cant believe most of the stuff on here, but it makes me feel a lot better to see that other moms have the same concerns. When I answer a question, I do so to the best of my ability. If I'm not sure, I usually don't answer. I really enjoy reading all the silly stuff on here tho.
No. Sweets and late nights are good for kids.
I think with any advice given by the average person you have to make the personal decision whether it is good or bad advice.
These message boards are not really an effective way to get answers to certain questions. Babycenter.com is a very good website where you can get serious answers and help, and share experiences about babies and children. Just use yahoo ansswers to laugh at people's silly questions, i.e. I have fallen in the loo, what should I do?' 'Can I bleach my face?' etc etc.
If you ask a question and are uncomfortable with an answer then it probably is bad advice. There is some good information on here but I have seen more bad than good. Go with your gut when you're getting advice. If you are unsure you can try another source to compare information.
I messed up pretty bad..advice?
I am pmsing pretty bad, and said some pretty mean things to my boyfriend. I wish I could take the words back..
But, I don't know what to say.
He is trying to sleep right now..
I don't wanna break up and he has been talking about it.
Said he wasn't sure if he loves me anymore which he has been saying the last 3 or 4 days.
I've been starting a bunch of fights.
I don't know what to do.
I don't wanna lose him.
I know this is kind of a difficult question because
you don't know our situation very well but any help would be niceI messed up pretty bad..advice?
we all lose it at times , just try to go and do fun things together and things that make both of you happy , maybe get some time to yourself doing girl things , good luck
But, I don't know what to say.
He is trying to sleep right now..
I don't wanna break up and he has been talking about it.
Said he wasn't sure if he loves me anymore which he has been saying the last 3 or 4 days.
I've been starting a bunch of fights.
I don't know what to do.
I don't wanna lose him.
I know this is kind of a difficult question because
you don't know our situation very well but any help would be niceI messed up pretty bad..advice?
we all lose it at times , just try to go and do fun things together and things that make both of you happy , maybe get some time to yourself doing girl things , good luck
Ugg i feel so bad. advice please?
ok sorry ahead of time but this is probably going to be pretty long. so im almost 15 and a sophomore. ive never had a bf and guys really arent interested in me. im not ugly, i dont ask but people tell me im really pretty (sorry i dont want to sound conceited). im an a+ student and kind of a nerd, but not the stereotypical fanny pack and suspenders nerd. lol.... anyways it kind of doesnt matter to me and im just not ';interested'; in boys. im definately not a lesbian even though people sometimes say that i must be. like it seems crazy to me, i have the rest of my life to get a bf and i dont need one to be happy with myself. i feel really uncomfortable when people ask about who i like or who id go out with and stuff and they just dont seem to drop it when i say that i dont like anyone and dont want a bf...... sooo now heres the story.
sometimes guys flirt with me, but its just to mess around with me and they dont actually LIKE me. this is the only thing that ever happens so i kind of got used to it. there was this guy (hes older) who i dont like at all, very creepy, kind of stalkerish, not cute. He pretended to like me and went WAAAY too far with it. I started to get really uncomfortable and then today he said really loud I DONT LIKE YOU! i kind of figured he didnt b.c nobody ever does but it feels really bad that he was just doing it to make fun of me. i didnt really feel like talking when they were joking around and asked if they can just drop it (but nicely)... . they were really mean about it and told me i need to lighten up and learn to take a joke, which i tried to take really well even though it wasnt funny. i dont know, i just kind of feel like crap right now i just need some advice or something to make me feel better. maybe some people are in my situation????? thanks so muchUgg i feel so bad. advice please?
if they do that, slap them. They cant slap you back coz theyd be sissy's :P and theyd get soooooooooooo embarassed.
Hope i helped
VamosUgg i feel so bad. advice please?
i understand. i'm 14 and never had a bf but about 90%of my school has. people always joke with me and call me the lezzy and stuff but i just simply not into hte whole dating thing and i'm too lazy to get up and put on makeup just to waste two hours at a movie with a guy when i could just hang out with my friends or chill at my house.
i think he was rude :P i'd just ignore it. the time will come when all of us normal girls will prevail!! MWAH HA HA
*sorry if this is weird*
1st of all, good for you to not be all ga ga over boys. If you are happy with yourself, by yourself you have achieved what most women wish they could. And your good self confidence is fantastic.
Be yourself, concentrate on your studies, get good grades so when you are out in the real world you won't have to depend on anyone.
As for your issue. I know it sounds cliche but just ignore it. Seriously. Don't engage these ';bullies'; at all. Don't look at them, don't say a word to them, pretend like there not there. They will eventually stop bothering you as they like to get your attention and get you going.
They may actually like you but because you are not in the ';popular circle'; they may be embarrassed to admit they find you attractive or a cool chick.
Don'tt sweat them and keep being you cuz in the end that is what matters and is respected. High School is just really tough and kids are so mean.
post a pic of yourself
and do me: http://ca.answers.yahoo.com/question/ind鈥?/a>
awwww! don't feel bad! those guys are jerks! don't listen to them! they're stupid. and i love what you said about having the rest of your life to get a bf! i am not in this situation right now, but i think that you should just forget about it and move on. once you move on, those jerks will too. ignore them and sure enough they will get the point. to feel better you should go in your room and blast some awesome music. it could help you to just forget about it. i really hope that i helped... fell better girl!
please answer mine?
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;鈥?/a>
Umm, when was the last time someone walked around in suspenders and a fanny pack?
Hey hun! I am so sorry! I totally can understand. I was in a very similar situation. Dearest, at 15 the boys are still quite immature. I am currently 20 and have never had a boyfriend and I promise I am no lesbian! (although I must clarify, I have nothing against them) I am not going to say that I have never had a crush on a boy and that I haven't had my fair share of boys who have liked me, but here are a few things I think you need to be told (or reminded) about
1. You are 15, no matter what other people say it is perfectly normal, even healthy to not have a boyfriend yet. As you said, you have your whole life for dating, now you should continue to focus on your school and you will be preparing for your future. Get into a good college where the boys will be smart, mature, possibly more attractive, rational, and quite possibly wealthy :D
2. As I mentioned before boys at 15 are quite immature. The reason I never had a boyfriend in high school was because of this. You are probably like I was and just have the maturity level of a college student and thus it would make sense that older boys would be more appropriate for your mental level, but its illegal for you to really date them so just wait! It will be fabulous! Also, about the boys that just make fun of you, PLEASE don't let high school boys give you a bad feeling toward men in general. I promise, they get better as they get older!
3. Always remember that you are a wonderful person and you deserve a wonderful person. Don't settle just because it seems like the norm. You will be better off staying true to yourself!
Hope that helped! Good luck!
do u honestly think im gna read all that .......
and dis is a rant not question - reported.
sometimes guys flirt with me, but its just to mess around with me and they dont actually LIKE me. this is the only thing that ever happens so i kind of got used to it. there was this guy (hes older) who i dont like at all, very creepy, kind of stalkerish, not cute. He pretended to like me and went WAAAY too far with it. I started to get really uncomfortable and then today he said really loud I DONT LIKE YOU! i kind of figured he didnt b.c nobody ever does but it feels really bad that he was just doing it to make fun of me. i didnt really feel like talking when they were joking around and asked if they can just drop it (but nicely)... . they were really mean about it and told me i need to lighten up and learn to take a joke, which i tried to take really well even though it wasnt funny. i dont know, i just kind of feel like crap right now i just need some advice or something to make me feel better. maybe some people are in my situation????? thanks so muchUgg i feel so bad. advice please?
if they do that, slap them. They cant slap you back coz theyd be sissy's :P and theyd get soooooooooooo embarassed.
Hope i helped
VamosUgg i feel so bad. advice please?
i understand. i'm 14 and never had a bf but about 90%of my school has. people always joke with me and call me the lezzy and stuff but i just simply not into hte whole dating thing and i'm too lazy to get up and put on makeup just to waste two hours at a movie with a guy when i could just hang out with my friends or chill at my house.
i think he was rude :P i'd just ignore it. the time will come when all of us normal girls will prevail!! MWAH HA HA
*sorry if this is weird*
1st of all, good for you to not be all ga ga over boys. If you are happy with yourself, by yourself you have achieved what most women wish they could. And your good self confidence is fantastic.
Be yourself, concentrate on your studies, get good grades so when you are out in the real world you won't have to depend on anyone.
As for your issue. I know it sounds cliche but just ignore it. Seriously. Don't engage these ';bullies'; at all. Don't look at them, don't say a word to them, pretend like there not there. They will eventually stop bothering you as they like to get your attention and get you going.
They may actually like you but because you are not in the ';popular circle'; they may be embarrassed to admit they find you attractive or a cool chick.
Don'tt sweat them and keep being you cuz in the end that is what matters and is respected. High School is just really tough and kids are so mean.
post a pic of yourself
and do me: http://ca.answers.yahoo.com/question/ind鈥?/a>
awwww! don't feel bad! those guys are jerks! don't listen to them! they're stupid. and i love what you said about having the rest of your life to get a bf! i am not in this situation right now, but i think that you should just forget about it and move on. once you move on, those jerks will too. ignore them and sure enough they will get the point. to feel better you should go in your room and blast some awesome music. it could help you to just forget about it. i really hope that i helped... fell better girl!
please answer mine?
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;鈥?/a>
Umm, when was the last time someone walked around in suspenders and a fanny pack?
Hey hun! I am so sorry! I totally can understand. I was in a very similar situation. Dearest, at 15 the boys are still quite immature. I am currently 20 and have never had a boyfriend and I promise I am no lesbian! (although I must clarify, I have nothing against them) I am not going to say that I have never had a crush on a boy and that I haven't had my fair share of boys who have liked me, but here are a few things I think you need to be told (or reminded) about
1. You are 15, no matter what other people say it is perfectly normal, even healthy to not have a boyfriend yet. As you said, you have your whole life for dating, now you should continue to focus on your school and you will be preparing for your future. Get into a good college where the boys will be smart, mature, possibly more attractive, rational, and quite possibly wealthy :D
2. As I mentioned before boys at 15 are quite immature. The reason I never had a boyfriend in high school was because of this. You are probably like I was and just have the maturity level of a college student and thus it would make sense that older boys would be more appropriate for your mental level, but its illegal for you to really date them so just wait! It will be fabulous! Also, about the boys that just make fun of you, PLEASE don't let high school boys give you a bad feeling toward men in general. I promise, they get better as they get older!
3. Always remember that you are a wonderful person and you deserve a wonderful person. Don't settle just because it seems like the norm. You will be better off staying true to yourself!
Hope that helped! Good luck!
do u honestly think im gna read all that .......
and dis is a rant not question - reported.
Help i need really bad advice?
okay ive been together with my girlfriend for 3 months n she says she says she loves me alot n dat shes in love n i know im in love with her but i dont know i have doubt in her feeling the same way i feel and im worried about it but we do talk on the phone for 5 or 4 hours daily all night almost and text eachother all day but our for my birthday she says she dont wanna be with me and she said she would rather be hanging out with her friends dat day instead and im wondering if this is normal that she doesnt wanna be with me on the day of my birthday since she says she loves me alot and i have doubt in it can someone give me some advice because and is she really into me like she says she is ?? is it normal shed rather be with her friends on the day of my birthday?? of maybe could shes just be planning something ??? please i need advice from other girls im hurting inside cause of this should i worry?? what should i do??Help i need really bad advice?
You need bad advice? You've come to the right place.
If you're talking on the phone to your girlfriend for 4-5 hrs a day, then you need to get a life. Dependency is not sexy. Take a step back, develop your own interests, give her some space and her interest will return.Help i need really bad advice?
She might be planning a surprise party for you, or it might be that she has special and specific plans with her friends (not just routine hanging out).
Try not to worry about it.
thats sounds really odd that she dosent want ot seeu on ur birthday or maybe she is planning a suprise or present, dont really no if peopel on here dont no the personart mask
You need bad advice? You've come to the right place.
If you're talking on the phone to your girlfriend for 4-5 hrs a day, then you need to get a life. Dependency is not sexy. Take a step back, develop your own interests, give her some space and her interest will return.Help i need really bad advice?
She might be planning a surprise party for you, or it might be that she has special and specific plans with her friends (not just routine hanging out).
Try not to worry about it.
thats sounds really odd that she dosent want ot seeu on ur birthday or maybe she is planning a suprise or present, dont really no if peopel on here dont no the person
High school GPA pretty bad advice please?
Hello i am in the 10th grade with a GPA of 2.55 bad i know i am going to go into the 11th grade and do alot better because for the past 2 years i have been a heavy marijuana user sadly o well,,, Like my question is i know i anit going to go to a great college but i will do really good for my undergrad is it possible to get into a better college for my MBA if i do good on the BA?? I plan to bring my high school GPA to atleast a 3.1 and im gonna study my butt off to get good SAT scores please help ((although i am good at math had B+ for the past 2 math courses and my stock market returns are spotless with average yearly returns in excess of 100%))High school GPA pretty bad advice please?
Yes, it is possible to get into a better school for your MBA if your college grades are really good, but you need to make sure you stay clean for the next 10 years or so. Your stock market returns won't help you if your grades are not good.High school GPA pretty bad advice please?
Yes, it's possible to go to a better university for your MBA and frequently, people do. You should probably stay in-state for school, save yourself and your parents some money, and do really well, then go to a better graduate program. 2.55 isn't amazing, but at least get it near 3.0 and focus on your SAT (and ACT) scores too, and join in clubs and sports if you can. Good luck!
it's great to set goals and all but you should accept whatever school you can get into and work on the weed habit. nothing sticks to a brain addled by drugs (in case you haven't noticed).
PS your stock market returns are largely good luck. don't get too full of your math skills
yes, it is possible to get into a good graduate program...as long as you do better in your undergraduate studies. Graduate addissions look at college GPA, letters of recommendation from professors and GRE scores
You need to first worry about getting into an undergrad institution. With the GPA you described, you won't be going anywhere great. My suggestion is go to a community college and transfer to a 4 year university afterwards. Community colleges accept everyone so you won't have a problem there.
Example: I'm from California, so I don't know how it is in other states, but a LOT of people go to community college, do well, and transfer to the UC system, which has some good schools, i.e. UCLA, Berkeley, San Diego. When you transfer, your high school grades and SAT scores won't matter. I suggest you talk to a guidance counselor at your school first.
Yes, it is possible to get into a better school for your MBA if your college grades are really good, but you need to make sure you stay clean for the next 10 years or so. Your stock market returns won't help you if your grades are not good.High school GPA pretty bad advice please?
Yes, it's possible to go to a better university for your MBA and frequently, people do. You should probably stay in-state for school, save yourself and your parents some money, and do really well, then go to a better graduate program. 2.55 isn't amazing, but at least get it near 3.0 and focus on your SAT (and ACT) scores too, and join in clubs and sports if you can. Good luck!
it's great to set goals and all but you should accept whatever school you can get into and work on the weed habit. nothing sticks to a brain addled by drugs (in case you haven't noticed).
PS your stock market returns are largely good luck. don't get too full of your math skills
yes, it is possible to get into a good graduate program...as long as you do better in your undergraduate studies. Graduate addissions look at college GPA, letters of recommendation from professors and GRE scores
You need to first worry about getting into an undergrad institution. With the GPA you described, you won't be going anywhere great. My suggestion is go to a community college and transfer to a 4 year university afterwards. Community colleges accept everyone so you won't have a problem there.
Example: I'm from California, so I don't know how it is in other states, but a LOT of people go to community college, do well, and transfer to the UC system, which has some good schools, i.e. UCLA, Berkeley, San Diego. When you transfer, your high school grades and SAT scores won't matter. I suggest you talk to a guidance counselor at your school first.
Filed as ';married'; on bad advice; how to fix without incurring big penalty?
I fully supported my girlfriend in 06 and 07; tax guy said I should file as ';married';; I wanted to use ';qualifying relative'; if possible.
She did not work at all those years nor was she claimed on anyone else's taxes. Problem is now I believe it will hurt her FAFSA financial aid eligibility (she wants to go back to school in Fall 09).
Also will I risk being audited for 06 and 07 if we both file in 08 as ';single';?
What should I do; I'm now unemployed, as of early 09, and getting aid for school would be really nice for both of us.
I really can't afford a tax penalty? How should I have handled my 07 and 07 returns (as well as my 08 return do in October)?Filed as ';married'; on bad advice; how to fix without incurring big penalty?
Filing illegally is not an excuse for failing to amend.
1. You amend back to single with a dependent. You lose both the other half of the joing deduction and the doubled tax brackets. Yes, you will owe when you are done.
2. FASFA will make you correct it.
3. Unless you live in one a few common law marriage states in which case, you may find you are now married.Filed as ';married'; on bad advice; how to fix without incurring big penalty?
You maybe able to do a amended return for those years. I don't want to give you any bad advice but talking with a CPA could get you straight. I don't know about this one but seeing how this person talked you into bad advice you may be able to talk to an IRS agent for advice. I hear some don't know what is going on but one time I was in trouble and the agent I talked to didn't burn we and told me what to do. I think you should check with a CPA for help. Some states have free legal advice let's hope the rightperson sees this. Whatever you do is double check everything I see plenty of bad advice people want to help but haven't got the right info you already know that there is so much misinformation going around and they believe whatever they are told. Luck
She did not work at all those years nor was she claimed on anyone else's taxes. Problem is now I believe it will hurt her FAFSA financial aid eligibility (she wants to go back to school in Fall 09).
Also will I risk being audited for 06 and 07 if we both file in 08 as ';single';?
What should I do; I'm now unemployed, as of early 09, and getting aid for school would be really nice for both of us.
I really can't afford a tax penalty? How should I have handled my 07 and 07 returns (as well as my 08 return do in October)?Filed as ';married'; on bad advice; how to fix without incurring big penalty?
Filing illegally is not an excuse for failing to amend.
1. You amend back to single with a dependent. You lose both the other half of the joing deduction and the doubled tax brackets. Yes, you will owe when you are done.
2. FASFA will make you correct it.
3. Unless you live in one a few common law marriage states in which case, you may find you are now married.Filed as ';married'; on bad advice; how to fix without incurring big penalty?
You maybe able to do a amended return for those years. I don't want to give you any bad advice but talking with a CPA could get you straight. I don't know about this one but seeing how this person talked you into bad advice you may be able to talk to an IRS agent for advice. I hear some don't know what is going on but one time I was in trouble and the agent I talked to didn't burn we and told me what to do. I think you should check with a CPA for help. Some states have free legal advice let's hope the rightperson sees this. Whatever you do is double check everything I see plenty of bad advice people want to help but haven't got the right info you already know that there is so much misinformation going around and they believe whatever they are told. Luck
I screwed up so bad.advice?
I can't even type this because I convinced myself this didn't happen. I screwed up really bad last night. I made the worst mistake of my life and now I'm lost. I don't know what to do. I can't sleep , I feel sick.
I cheated on my boyfriend. The best thing that ever happened to me. I'm not the kind of person who would cheat ever.
I was drunk last night at my best friends house. With her , her boyfriend and his best friend. Were all really good friends. My best friend has it in her head that my boyfriend is a bad boyfriend, doesn't treat me good etc. She's never met him. She just hears the bad stuff, when were fighting and when I'm venting. She kept telling me to hook up with Dave.
They left us alone in his bedroom. Being drunk we ended up having sex. A minute into it He asked me if I was ok and I sat up and Bawled my eyes out. Then I left. I told her when went I went home.
she keeps saying 'either you tell him or you break up with him.. you can't put him through that. She practically made me do it.
I know it's my fault Drunk or not. It is 100% my fault. It was my decision I know.But I can't hurt him. He's so good to me. It's not the fact that I'm scared he's going to break up with me.It's that, I can't put him through the pain.
i don't want to be without him, so i can't just break up with him. the sex lasted literally 2 minutes before i started bawling. but he was the only guy I ever had sex with. and now that's ruined. we were supposed to get married and have him be the only one.
I can't explain the guilt I feel right now. I wish I could take it back more then anything in the world.I can't live i screwed over the one person in my life that hasn't screwed me over. Ive been with him for three years. I'm seventeen , he's twenty.
I don't know what to do. I feel so bad, Advice please?I screwed up so bad.advice?
Would you rather he heard it from you now, or from someone else at a later date. Although it puts it off, it'll be far worse when he actually finds out. I would tell him. Let him know you're sorry. Then it's his call. If he leaves, let him. You've screwed up big time. However, if he loves you that much he should be able to look past it. If you don't tell him, I just get the impression your ';friend'; might let something slip to get rid of your boyfriend, something she seems to be trying already.
Edit: You don't mention whether you used a condom in your post, but if not you might want to get tested for stds just in case. It's unlikely, but something to be aware of just in case.I screwed up so bad.advice?
your going to have to hurt his feeings either way... but tell him the truth!! Tell him all that you wrote down here... i hope it works out 4 you :(
well, I've never met your bf either and I can say that he's a bad bf if he dumps you. You aren't in the right, even for a moment, but if he doesn't love you enough to get through this, then you deserve better anyway. A man who would hold things against you is no real man. but, let him have his anger, he does deserve that much, and then let it go from there. If he dumps you, know you're better off. Cause there are men in the world who would be willing to make it through this. And if you are willing to wait and look, you'll find one too.
Well, hiding it from him will be worse if he somehow does find out. Then you'll have hurt him twice - the act and the lying. If you tell him why you feel so bad and how you regret it, it'll be up to him to decide how to react.
Maybe you should change your profile info while you're at it:
';i rarely regret anything.';
The same thing happened to me in September except the guy I cheated with was my bestfriend and I told my boyfreind when I got home because the guilt overwhelmed me. But he forgave me. I was drunk and he was drunk and now we are past it. I think that you should tell. Honestly I thought about not telling but the guilt ate me alive..and I didn't wanna get married or have a child on a lie. I think that you shouls tell him and tell him how much he's means to you. One thing that that experience gave me was I realized how much I really cared for my boyfriend and how much I loved him. Either way you should tell him. I know that I hurt him b/c he remembered the exact day and I didn't. Good Luck.
I'm all about honesty usually but look, you're young you're going to make mistakes.If you reeeally regret it that much, why hurt him with the information, it's not need to know if it wont happen again.
Don't let it happen again, don't tell him and just forget it completely.
You're only 17 so relax a bit!!
You had the nerve to cheat? People like you make me absolutely SICK. there is no excuse for what you did to your bf. If you have any morals you will tell him directly what you did and do not sugarcoat it he will decide your fate. This is absolutely vulgar behaviour and no man should tolerate it you're lucky he isn't me. i'd slap you in the face and dump your *** on the sidewalk
ur a f*cking w*ore btw but if ur rlly srs ab getting married then dnt tell him nd go on with life
i feel bad 4 u i rlly do, but if ur 17 u shldnt be drinking or having sex! with anyone! and anyways u should seve sex for marriage!
I cheated on my boyfriend. The best thing that ever happened to me. I'm not the kind of person who would cheat ever.
I was drunk last night at my best friends house. With her , her boyfriend and his best friend. Were all really good friends. My best friend has it in her head that my boyfriend is a bad boyfriend, doesn't treat me good etc. She's never met him. She just hears the bad stuff, when were fighting and when I'm venting. She kept telling me to hook up with Dave.
They left us alone in his bedroom. Being drunk we ended up having sex. A minute into it He asked me if I was ok and I sat up and Bawled my eyes out. Then I left. I told her when went I went home.
she keeps saying 'either you tell him or you break up with him.. you can't put him through that. She practically made me do it.
I know it's my fault Drunk or not. It is 100% my fault. It was my decision I know.But I can't hurt him. He's so good to me. It's not the fact that I'm scared he's going to break up with me.It's that, I can't put him through the pain.
i don't want to be without him, so i can't just break up with him. the sex lasted literally 2 minutes before i started bawling. but he was the only guy I ever had sex with. and now that's ruined. we were supposed to get married and have him be the only one.
I can't explain the guilt I feel right now. I wish I could take it back more then anything in the world.I can't live i screwed over the one person in my life that hasn't screwed me over. Ive been with him for three years. I'm seventeen , he's twenty.
I don't know what to do. I feel so bad, Advice please?I screwed up so bad.advice?
Would you rather he heard it from you now, or from someone else at a later date. Although it puts it off, it'll be far worse when he actually finds out. I would tell him. Let him know you're sorry. Then it's his call. If he leaves, let him. You've screwed up big time. However, if he loves you that much he should be able to look past it. If you don't tell him, I just get the impression your ';friend'; might let something slip to get rid of your boyfriend, something she seems to be trying already.
Edit: You don't mention whether you used a condom in your post, but if not you might want to get tested for stds just in case. It's unlikely, but something to be aware of just in case.I screwed up so bad.advice?
your going to have to hurt his feeings either way... but tell him the truth!! Tell him all that you wrote down here... i hope it works out 4 you :(
well, I've never met your bf either and I can say that he's a bad bf if he dumps you. You aren't in the right, even for a moment, but if he doesn't love you enough to get through this, then you deserve better anyway. A man who would hold things against you is no real man. but, let him have his anger, he does deserve that much, and then let it go from there. If he dumps you, know you're better off. Cause there are men in the world who would be willing to make it through this. And if you are willing to wait and look, you'll find one too.
Well, hiding it from him will be worse if he somehow does find out. Then you'll have hurt him twice - the act and the lying. If you tell him why you feel so bad and how you regret it, it'll be up to him to decide how to react.
Maybe you should change your profile info while you're at it:
';i rarely regret anything.';
The same thing happened to me in September except the guy I cheated with was my bestfriend and I told my boyfreind when I got home because the guilt overwhelmed me. But he forgave me. I was drunk and he was drunk and now we are past it. I think that you should tell. Honestly I thought about not telling but the guilt ate me alive..and I didn't wanna get married or have a child on a lie. I think that you shouls tell him and tell him how much he's means to you. One thing that that experience gave me was I realized how much I really cared for my boyfriend and how much I loved him. Either way you should tell him. I know that I hurt him b/c he remembered the exact day and I didn't. Good Luck.
I'm all about honesty usually but look, you're young you're going to make mistakes.If you reeeally regret it that much, why hurt him with the information, it's not need to know if it wont happen again.
Don't let it happen again, don't tell him and just forget it completely.
You're only 17 so relax a bit!!
You had the nerve to cheat? People like you make me absolutely SICK. there is no excuse for what you did to your bf. If you have any morals you will tell him directly what you did and do not sugarcoat it he will decide your fate. This is absolutely vulgar behaviour and no man should tolerate it you're lucky he isn't me. i'd slap you in the face and dump your *** on the sidewalk
ur a f*cking w*ore btw but if ur rlly srs ab getting married then dnt tell him nd go on with life
i feel bad 4 u i rlly do, but if ur 17 u shldnt be drinking or having sex! with anyone! and anyways u should seve sex for marriage!
Did Sen. McCain Get Bad Advice on Foreclosures?
Sen. McCain made a proposal at the Town Hall Debate on how to deal with home foreclosures and said ';this my proposal, this is not Obama's proposal or President Bush's proposal!';
The benefit he wanted to give to homeowners requires an adjustment on the loan terms for a home but home loans are ';bundled'; together and each bundle is insured by the U.S. and each bundle is sold to buyers (mostly from foreign countries) who buy fractions of the bundle.
There is no way to unravel this and change the terms for each home buyer.
I read this in the Contra Costa Times newspaper, does the staff of Sen. McCain fail to read newspapers or was the Senator ';set up'; by one in his staff to look like he does not know what he is talking about.
I am talking about sabotage by a mole in his staff that is trying to undermine his campaign.
What do you think? Is this possible, likely, most unlikely or what?Did Sen. McCain Get Bad Advice on Foreclosures?
Most people still believe that one bank holds the mortgage. After all, one household is responsible for paying the mortgage, so one bank must be responsible for collecting the payment and foreclosing, if need be, right?
Of course, that's not how the system works anymore. Homeowners still send their mortgage payment to one place (instead of a fraction of the payment to hundreds of owners), since one company usually keeps the right to collect payments.
Most people just don't know that loans have been packaged, sliced, repackaged, resliced, and sold to foreign hedge funds, pension funds, and other investors. They just go about making their normal payment, thinking the bank they are sending money to actually owns their mortgage.
So McCsin was relying on the ignorance of the vast majority of American voters by putting forth a $300 billion proposal that would adjust mortgage balances and payment terms. It is difficult to lose an election by putting your faith entirely in the hostility of the people to hearing the truth. As long as the media does not mention the mortgage securities business over and over again, people will hold onto their old, outdated beliefs that their bank actually owns their mortgage.
It would be impossible to unravel the mortgage securities investments now. But now McCain seems to think that the government should buy these toxic securities, renegotiate the terms, package them, slice them, and sell them back to domestic and foreign investors, with all of us taking the losses on the loans.
Problem: mortgages were packaged and sliced up, with no one having a stake in the ultimate success or failure of the underlying loan.
McCain's solution: package and slice up these same mortgages, and resell them so that no one has a stake in their success or failure.
Makes sense.
ForeclosureFishDid Sen. McCain Get Bad Advice on Foreclosures?
You can change the terms of a mortgage. Yes they are sold, but what he is saying is that the US government would pay the difference between the original loan value and the renegotiated value.
It is a horrible idea.
he gets bad advice on just about everything.
What you imply may be possible, but surely the man should have used his own brain.
The benefit he wanted to give to homeowners requires an adjustment on the loan terms for a home but home loans are ';bundled'; together and each bundle is insured by the U.S. and each bundle is sold to buyers (mostly from foreign countries) who buy fractions of the bundle.
There is no way to unravel this and change the terms for each home buyer.
I read this in the Contra Costa Times newspaper, does the staff of Sen. McCain fail to read newspapers or was the Senator ';set up'; by one in his staff to look like he does not know what he is talking about.
I am talking about sabotage by a mole in his staff that is trying to undermine his campaign.
What do you think? Is this possible, likely, most unlikely or what?Did Sen. McCain Get Bad Advice on Foreclosures?
Most people still believe that one bank holds the mortgage. After all, one household is responsible for paying the mortgage, so one bank must be responsible for collecting the payment and foreclosing, if need be, right?
Of course, that's not how the system works anymore. Homeowners still send their mortgage payment to one place (instead of a fraction of the payment to hundreds of owners), since one company usually keeps the right to collect payments.
Most people just don't know that loans have been packaged, sliced, repackaged, resliced, and sold to foreign hedge funds, pension funds, and other investors. They just go about making their normal payment, thinking the bank they are sending money to actually owns their mortgage.
So McCsin was relying on the ignorance of the vast majority of American voters by putting forth a $300 billion proposal that would adjust mortgage balances and payment terms. It is difficult to lose an election by putting your faith entirely in the hostility of the people to hearing the truth. As long as the media does not mention the mortgage securities business over and over again, people will hold onto their old, outdated beliefs that their bank actually owns their mortgage.
It would be impossible to unravel the mortgage securities investments now. But now McCain seems to think that the government should buy these toxic securities, renegotiate the terms, package them, slice them, and sell them back to domestic and foreign investors, with all of us taking the losses on the loans.
Problem: mortgages were packaged and sliced up, with no one having a stake in the ultimate success or failure of the underlying loan.
McCain's solution: package and slice up these same mortgages, and resell them so that no one has a stake in their success or failure.
Makes sense.
ForeclosureFishDid Sen. McCain Get Bad Advice on Foreclosures?
You can change the terms of a mortgage. Yes they are sold, but what he is saying is that the US government would pay the difference between the original loan value and the renegotiated value.
It is a horrible idea.
he gets bad advice on just about everything.
What you imply may be possible, but surely the man should have used his own brain.
Gah, this sucks so bad. Advice?
If you read my questions yesterday, then you'll understand this.
Anyways,
So, the girl I like (I found out her name, just can't spell it :/), has a girlfriend :'(
The thing is, is that the girl she is dating doesn't seem to be... as in to it, as much as (lets call her C, cause that's the letter it starts with) C is in to it. I just don't want C to get hurt, or anything. And I know for a fact that I wouldn't be ignoring her like her current girlfriend is. I.e. C was crying after school one day because of someone saying something about her being a lesbian, and she is going to hell, etc. C's girlfriend was right there, and didn't even comfort her! She didn't say anything, just watched as other people talked to her, and calmed her down.
If she was my girlfriend, I'd be kicking that kid's @ss.
I don't know, the relationship doesn't seem to be going where it should be.
Is it just me, or am I just seeing the negatives because I really want to be with C?
Hmph, I hate high school. :(Gah, this sucks so bad. Advice?
Your not just seeing the negative, you just really care.Gah, this sucks so bad. Advice?
Sorry, I didn't read your questions yesterday. But if you just found out this girl's name, how much can you really like her?
Get to know her a bit more before you start judging her relationship.
You do not sound as if you really want to ';be with C'; but as if you want to protect her from all possible harm. Just do not get controlling!
Even though you like her, be there for her, as a friend and comfort and support her. Let her, on her own, reevaluate her feelings. I know I'm not giving you the answer you want, but now isn't the time for you to confuse her b/c she seems down. Instead of pursung her and telling her your feelings, comfort her and let her know you're someone she can depend on all the time. If you really like her, then make her happy, and trust me she'll eventually fall for you and share the same feelings! I speak from some experience, my best friend was in a similiar situation!!!
Yeah, high school sucks.
Her girlfriend sounds really inattentive, and uninterested in their relationship, so don't nudge her for a break up. It's high school; bad relationships don't last long. Since you just met her, get to know her a bit more before you get TOO involved. Make sure you're always one of the girls comforting C or ripping the guy's head off -- I stand up for people I care about as well as people I don't really know, so it might not look suspicious. Be there for her. Be her friend. They'll break up in due time.
Anyways,
So, the girl I like (I found out her name, just can't spell it :/), has a girlfriend :'(
The thing is, is that the girl she is dating doesn't seem to be... as in to it, as much as (lets call her C, cause that's the letter it starts with) C is in to it. I just don't want C to get hurt, or anything. And I know for a fact that I wouldn't be ignoring her like her current girlfriend is. I.e. C was crying after school one day because of someone saying something about her being a lesbian, and she is going to hell, etc. C's girlfriend was right there, and didn't even comfort her! She didn't say anything, just watched as other people talked to her, and calmed her down.
If she was my girlfriend, I'd be kicking that kid's @ss.
I don't know, the relationship doesn't seem to be going where it should be.
Is it just me, or am I just seeing the negatives because I really want to be with C?
Hmph, I hate high school. :(Gah, this sucks so bad. Advice?
Your not just seeing the negative, you just really care.Gah, this sucks so bad. Advice?
Sorry, I didn't read your questions yesterday. But if you just found out this girl's name, how much can you really like her?
Get to know her a bit more before you start judging her relationship.
You do not sound as if you really want to ';be with C'; but as if you want to protect her from all possible harm. Just do not get controlling!
Even though you like her, be there for her, as a friend and comfort and support her. Let her, on her own, reevaluate her feelings. I know I'm not giving you the answer you want, but now isn't the time for you to confuse her b/c she seems down. Instead of pursung her and telling her your feelings, comfort her and let her know you're someone she can depend on all the time. If you really like her, then make her happy, and trust me she'll eventually fall for you and share the same feelings! I speak from some experience, my best friend was in a similiar situation!!!
Yeah, high school sucks.
Her girlfriend sounds really inattentive, and uninterested in their relationship, so don't nudge her for a break up. It's high school; bad relationships don't last long. Since you just met her, get to know her a bit more before you get TOO involved. Make sure you're always one of the girls comforting C or ripping the guy's head off -- I stand up for people I care about as well as people I don't really know, so it might not look suspicious. Be there for her. Be her friend. They'll break up in due time.
Top 10 Pieces of Bad Advice to the Women on M&D?
Do you ever shudder (or laugh) at some of the advice that people are given on this board...these are my favorites:
NOT HELPFUL WITH HOUSEWORK AND KIDS
Advice: Go on strike
NOT HELPFUL WITH HOUSEWORK AND KIDS
Advice: Withhold sex
ABUSIVE:
Advice: Talk to him about your feelings
LOW LIBIDO, CHEATING ON YOU, IGNORES YOU
Advice: Cheat on him
NEED TO SPICE UP THE BEDROOM
Advice: Have a threesome
VIDEO GAME ADDICTION, PORN ADDICTION
Advice: Throw out the computer
VIDEO GAME ADDICTION, PORN ADDICTION
Advice: Join him
ABUSED NO MONEY FOR DIVORCE LAWYER
Advice: Stay and get a job to save for a lawyer
HIS TOO HIGH SEX DRIVE
Advice: Stop complaining and enjoy it
HIS TOO HIGH SEX DRIVE
Advice: Tell him to go pleasure himself
Other good ones you see?Top 10 Pieces of Bad Advice to the Women on M%26amp;D?
';I'M NOT HAPPY';
';You deserve to be happy';
I';M UNHAPPY BUT I HAVE CHILDREN
';Do not stay married for the children';
HE';S CHATTING ON THE INTERNET
';Emotional affairs are worse than sexual affairs';
WILL HE CHEAT AGAIN
';Once a cheater always a cheater';
And of course MY NUMBER 1 piece of BAD ADVICE for an already confused wife who is searching for love in the wrong place,
';Follow your heart.';Top 10 Pieces of Bad Advice to the Women on M%26amp;D?
Thanks Dude,
And never forget, FOLLOW YOUR HEART.
I have 3 children and I'm not happy in my marriage, Should I Ieave?
Advice: Yes, Life is to short to be unhappy.
Always love these responses, cause the leaving part involves a whole family and not just one person's unwillingness to try to be happy.
Yep!
I find it funny when for just about any problem on here at least one person will advise divorce. No wonder 1 in 3 marriages ends that way. No one is even willing to try!
HAVE TEN KIDS AND YOUR PARTNER WANTS MORE:
advice: by them a plasma
hehehehe!when my hubby ignores me for a video game i sing to him really loud he hates my voice but he always laughs and i win i get his attention!
This reminds me of a Dr. Phil episode this past week. The show was about women who had extremely low or non existent sex drives. It was determined and explained that sometimes the chemistry in the body can affect the desire for sex, and the women were very understanding of each other. However, I feel these same women would have a lot to say if this problem affected the men in their lives. He would probably be called everything from ';not a real man'; to ';a limp ^%$@ wuss';.
My point: most advice geared tward women, and men for that metter, is bias.art mask
NOT HELPFUL WITH HOUSEWORK AND KIDS
Advice: Go on strike
NOT HELPFUL WITH HOUSEWORK AND KIDS
Advice: Withhold sex
ABUSIVE:
Advice: Talk to him about your feelings
LOW LIBIDO, CHEATING ON YOU, IGNORES YOU
Advice: Cheat on him
NEED TO SPICE UP THE BEDROOM
Advice: Have a threesome
VIDEO GAME ADDICTION, PORN ADDICTION
Advice: Throw out the computer
VIDEO GAME ADDICTION, PORN ADDICTION
Advice: Join him
ABUSED NO MONEY FOR DIVORCE LAWYER
Advice: Stay and get a job to save for a lawyer
HIS TOO HIGH SEX DRIVE
Advice: Stop complaining and enjoy it
HIS TOO HIGH SEX DRIVE
Advice: Tell him to go pleasure himself
Other good ones you see?Top 10 Pieces of Bad Advice to the Women on M%26amp;D?
';I'M NOT HAPPY';
';You deserve to be happy';
I';M UNHAPPY BUT I HAVE CHILDREN
';Do not stay married for the children';
HE';S CHATTING ON THE INTERNET
';Emotional affairs are worse than sexual affairs';
WILL HE CHEAT AGAIN
';Once a cheater always a cheater';
And of course MY NUMBER 1 piece of BAD ADVICE for an already confused wife who is searching for love in the wrong place,
';Follow your heart.';Top 10 Pieces of Bad Advice to the Women on M%26amp;D?
Thanks Dude,
And never forget, FOLLOW YOUR HEART.
Report Abuse
I have 3 children and I'm not happy in my marriage, Should I Ieave?
Advice: Yes, Life is to short to be unhappy.
Always love these responses, cause the leaving part involves a whole family and not just one person's unwillingness to try to be happy.
Yep!
I find it funny when for just about any problem on here at least one person will advise divorce. No wonder 1 in 3 marriages ends that way. No one is even willing to try!
HAVE TEN KIDS AND YOUR PARTNER WANTS MORE:
advice: by them a plasma
hehehehe!when my hubby ignores me for a video game i sing to him really loud he hates my voice but he always laughs and i win i get his attention!
This reminds me of a Dr. Phil episode this past week. The show was about women who had extremely low or non existent sex drives. It was determined and explained that sometimes the chemistry in the body can affect the desire for sex, and the women were very understanding of each other. However, I feel these same women would have a lot to say if this problem affected the men in their lives. He would probably be called everything from ';not a real man'; to ';a limp ^%$@ wuss';.
My point: most advice geared tward women, and men for that metter, is bias.
So things are really bad. Advice?
A year and a half ago I transferred to a college in a major city in my state. I really just wanted to get away from my life and meet new people (Really, a break-up with a boyfriend made me want to start a new life).. I came here and I still feel lost. This has been the worst time in my life. Things should be fun... I'm 22! I'm an attractive enough girl but i'm kind of shy and have little confidence. I have two friends. I have not done well in school either... I feel so horrible for disappointing my parents and wasting their money. I am close to suspension. I don't know if I should just take a break and work for a little bit?
I miss my life two years ago. It was better than it is now, but if i leave will I be even more of a failure for not making it work here?
I am always depressed and I cry a lot. I really don't know what to do.
I feel like I'm wasting my life away every single day... i want to enjoy life but don't really know how.So things are really bad. Advice?
Keep your chin up! You are young, you are pretty, you are smart, you can make decisions to improve your life without feeling like a failure. Everyone has 'valleys' in their life (trust me, I have had plenty of them), but there's always hope for a better tomorrow.
If you absolutely think you cannot be successful in your new location, then move back to your hometown and go to a smaller college. But don't stop going to school, because you need to get that out of the way while you are young. In the meantime, finish out this semester and make a promise to yourself that you're going to do bring your grades up, one day at a time.
Also, I believe when you get busy, you get better. If you want to enjoy life, you should try volunteering for something that will show you that you are worthy of love and respect and happiness. There are tons of nursing homes in every community; many residents of nursing homes never, ever get one single visitor. Why not call around and find a home with a resident (or two) with whom you can visit every Sunday? Read them the Bible, pray with them, sing to them, sing WITH them, or just do a puzzle if you don't feel comfortable doing those other activities. I am sure that if you visit one of these residents, the quality of both their lives and YOUR life will improve vastly and rapidly. It will give you something to do while you are mulling over the decision to go back home or stay and fight it out. Perhaps you might even find someone who can inspire you and give you some guidance! I guarantee you if you do this, your depression will lift and you will start to feel good again.
Don't give up! Take baby steps, they work!So things are really bad. Advice?
';Do in life what makes you happy';
Keep in mind. Also, if your going to try to allow a happy life for yourself, take a public speaking course for your shyness. Work on it a little. So, not so good education, what can U do about taht now to make U happi ??
(:
Ask God to come into your life :)
http://www.everystudent.com/features/gettingconnected.html
Taking a break may not be a bad idea. I think you should maybe see a therapist. I know a lot of women our age including myself who have been through the same thing. I think you should check out this book called ';20-Something, 20-Everything: A Quarter-life Woman's Guide to Balance and Direction '; by Christine Hassler. You might be experiencing a quarter life crisis. Look up the term to get more familiar with it and see if it applies to you. Things will get better :-)!
omg don't worry!Don't waste your time crying,take that time to decide to think what to do.Don't worry you have confidence and thats what you really need.First try to make more friends by taking help from your two friends.If you start liking a man go for it but first just be friends and get to know him and then if you think he's right for you then don't be shy to tell him what you think of him just be confident and let it out or else it's too late....Then im sure you're gonna be really happy..hope i he helped!Be happy no time to cry you have busy life!:D and remember crying will not help!!
I've been there...and YES it is a good idea to work and just take a break from school. Not only will it help you to clear your head and maybe help you figure out what you want to do with your life but you will also have a lot of respect for your school work when you go back because you will realize that you do not want to work at a crappy job for ever!! In the end you will put your priorities first...school...family(which in your case ties in together sine you are using your parents money)...friends and THEN a relationship with a guy...I have seen too many of my friends (including myself when I was a freshmen, try to put a guy before those things and I wonder when they are going to realize that school and family should come first not friends and boyfriends) But, just realize you are not alone many many college aged girls do the same thing...some can manage all at once and some can not...sad thing is the ones that can not it usually takes something horrible to happen (like suspension) before they realize what they should put first. So please do yourself a favor and take a semester off...work...and then you will realize what is more important. Good Luck!
I miss my life two years ago. It was better than it is now, but if i leave will I be even more of a failure for not making it work here?
I am always depressed and I cry a lot. I really don't know what to do.
I feel like I'm wasting my life away every single day... i want to enjoy life but don't really know how.So things are really bad. Advice?
Keep your chin up! You are young, you are pretty, you are smart, you can make decisions to improve your life without feeling like a failure. Everyone has 'valleys' in their life (trust me, I have had plenty of them), but there's always hope for a better tomorrow.
If you absolutely think you cannot be successful in your new location, then move back to your hometown and go to a smaller college. But don't stop going to school, because you need to get that out of the way while you are young. In the meantime, finish out this semester and make a promise to yourself that you're going to do bring your grades up, one day at a time.
Also, I believe when you get busy, you get better. If you want to enjoy life, you should try volunteering for something that will show you that you are worthy of love and respect and happiness. There are tons of nursing homes in every community; many residents of nursing homes never, ever get one single visitor. Why not call around and find a home with a resident (or two) with whom you can visit every Sunday? Read them the Bible, pray with them, sing to them, sing WITH them, or just do a puzzle if you don't feel comfortable doing those other activities. I am sure that if you visit one of these residents, the quality of both their lives and YOUR life will improve vastly and rapidly. It will give you something to do while you are mulling over the decision to go back home or stay and fight it out. Perhaps you might even find someone who can inspire you and give you some guidance! I guarantee you if you do this, your depression will lift and you will start to feel good again.
Don't give up! Take baby steps, they work!So things are really bad. Advice?
';Do in life what makes you happy';
Keep in mind. Also, if your going to try to allow a happy life for yourself, take a public speaking course for your shyness. Work on it a little. So, not so good education, what can U do about taht now to make U happi ??
(:
Ask God to come into your life :)
http://www.everystudent.com/features/gettingconnected.html
Taking a break may not be a bad idea. I think you should maybe see a therapist. I know a lot of women our age including myself who have been through the same thing. I think you should check out this book called ';20-Something, 20-Everything: A Quarter-life Woman's Guide to Balance and Direction '; by Christine Hassler. You might be experiencing a quarter life crisis. Look up the term to get more familiar with it and see if it applies to you. Things will get better :-)!
omg don't worry!Don't waste your time crying,take that time to decide to think what to do.Don't worry you have confidence and thats what you really need.First try to make more friends by taking help from your two friends.If you start liking a man go for it but first just be friends and get to know him and then if you think he's right for you then don't be shy to tell him what you think of him just be confident and let it out or else it's too late....Then im sure you're gonna be really happy..hope i he helped!Be happy no time to cry you have busy life!:D and remember crying will not help!!
I've been there...and YES it is a good idea to work and just take a break from school. Not only will it help you to clear your head and maybe help you figure out what you want to do with your life but you will also have a lot of respect for your school work when you go back because you will realize that you do not want to work at a crappy job for ever!! In the end you will put your priorities first...school...family(which in your case ties in together sine you are using your parents money)...friends and THEN a relationship with a guy...I have seen too many of my friends (including myself when I was a freshmen, try to put a guy before those things and I wonder when they are going to realize that school and family should come first not friends and boyfriends) But, just realize you are not alone many many college aged girls do the same thing...some can manage all at once and some can not...sad thing is the ones that can not it usually takes something horrible to happen (like suspension) before they realize what they should put first. So please do yourself a favor and take a semester off...work...and then you will realize what is more important. Good Luck!
Dilemma folks give me ur good or bad advice I will take all?
I've gone out with my girl for a little over 3 weeks now. out of the blue my friend said she liked me. she said she was scared of rejection or whatever. but now I'm falling for her because. I like my girl shes extremely cute but she doesn't like some of the things i do. Shes extremely outgoing and me I'm a gamer. I like to stay indoors mostly. she hates games and stuff so now i gotta switch it up a little bit.....Dilemma folks give me ur good or bad advice I will take all?
i think you should break up with your current gf and go out with the girl who's more compatible for you
you'd have a lot more fun with her
that way you aren't dragging two people along cuz that just messes with your heart and both of those girlsDilemma folks give me ur good or bad advice I will take all?
You too young to actually care about any of these people. Look at it from the prespective of none of this matters because it won't last long enough to matter.
Good for you to want to be a game designer. It takes a lot of mathmatical skill. My husband went to MIT, he did some game formatting classes at Full Sail University, look into it. It is a great school located in FL.
Who cares what girl you pick? In a year they'll be history anyway.
Believe it or not, gaming is an addiction and it only gets worse. This girl who is outgoing could be the best thing that ever happened to you. Seriously, how long do you intend to be a gamer? Have you ever thought about that? Can you see yourself stopping on your own anytime soon? Like I said, this is something you need to grow out of and this girl could be a godsend.
I would break up with your current girlfriend . wait a while too see how your feel and decide if you still want to go out with the compatible girl.
i think you should break up with your current gf and go out with the girl who's more compatible for you
you'd have a lot more fun with her
that way you aren't dragging two people along cuz that just messes with your heart and both of those girlsDilemma folks give me ur good or bad advice I will take all?
You too young to actually care about any of these people. Look at it from the prespective of none of this matters because it won't last long enough to matter.
Good for you to want to be a game designer. It takes a lot of mathmatical skill. My husband went to MIT, he did some game formatting classes at Full Sail University, look into it. It is a great school located in FL.
Who cares what girl you pick? In a year they'll be history anyway.
Believe it or not, gaming is an addiction and it only gets worse. This girl who is outgoing could be the best thing that ever happened to you. Seriously, how long do you intend to be a gamer? Have you ever thought about that? Can you see yourself stopping on your own anytime soon? Like I said, this is something you need to grow out of and this girl could be a godsend.
I would break up with your current girlfriend . wait a while too see how your feel and decide if you still want to go out with the compatible girl.
Question about paint primer (Think I got bad advice from Lowes)?
We closed on a house last week and wanted to paint the living room/dining room and master bedroom before we moved in. This was a HUGE job, because the rooms are fairly large with 12 foot ceilings and the owners had a dark, dusty rose color on the LR/DR walls and a mint green on the bedroom walls.
We went to Lowes and selected Lyndhurst Estate Cream as the LR/DR color and Lyndhurst Jade for the bedroom and decided to use Valspar Signature paint with an eggshell finish.
My first clue that something was wrong was that the guy recommended we use primer in the bedroom. I don't know much about painting, but I was fairly sure that covering a light color with a darker color was pretty easy and shouldn't require a coat of primer. We declined that, but then he offered to give us some primer and 'add a grey tint to it' for the LR/DR. He said it would make the painting a snap, since the premium paint we bought already had a primer in it as well.
We got home, opened the primer, and I gasped! It was purple! I thought, I sure hope this guy knows what he's talking about, and started applying it to my walls, where it was VERY purple. Eggplant, almost. Dried slightly lighter, but not much. And I still didn't doubt him too much until we got back the next day and started applying the pale yellow color to the walls. We bought 3 gallons of paint, which should have covered the entire space with paint to spare. After 3 hours, and much going over and over and over the walls, I had used a whole gallon and barely painted 1/5 of the room. The purple color was seeping through the first two coats, and even the third was only just covering it.
At that point, I realized we should just get the first coat up and go back for more paint. So I quit trying to cover up all the purple and just let the primer show through the first, thin coat. I still didn't manage to get all the trim painted, either.
Is it just me, or did the guy screw up by adding the tint to the primer? Isn't primer light grey, anyway? Wouldn't it have been better to put one light color over the pink, even if it didn't cover it all the way? Like I said, I'm no expert, but I don't know that Mr. Paint Desk is, either.
Advice? Comments? Suggestions?Question about paint primer (Think I got bad advice from Lowes)?
Primer is only needed on BARE drywall or wood. If the surface has been previously painted one doesn't need to prime again. If making a drastic color change, two coats of paint may be needed. This so-called primer in the paint is just a marketing who-do.Question about paint primer (Think I got bad advice from Lowes)?
This is another reason to not ask questions of the clerks in the big-box stores. Ask the pros in a specialty store!
here's the deal with primer, you can buy primer and do one coat of primer and 2 coats of paint, or you can do 3 coats of paint, as a general rule. to me a dusty pink is actually fairly dark, so primering MAY have helped, but clearly the tinted primer was a BAD idea. NEVER buy premium paint with primer in it...its an oxymoron and it just costs more. You'd be better off buying more regular paint. Or 1 can of cheap primer.
You could call me an expert i've painted so many rooms and i've done every color on the color wheel.
Gone from white to red
Red to light beige
Beige to deep blue
Purple to light grey
Green to yellow
Light blue to brown...
you name it, i've painted it...the ONLY time i recommend a primer is when using red. Red is temperamental, primer helps it to spread on evenly, so you get an even look...
using primer before painting is always a good idea. It cuts down on the amount of paint needed and seems to help the paint be more durable once your done. But it does sound like he tinted your primer too dark. Hope it works out for you.
I also just closed on an old house with tall, dusty rose walls!! and we are painting over them as well. I think that it is common to tint the primer, however i think you are right. he messed up. maybe tinting it SO dark would have made sense for the bedroom, but you should not prime it eggplant to paint the wall light yellow. he messed up.
We went to Lowes and selected Lyndhurst Estate Cream as the LR/DR color and Lyndhurst Jade for the bedroom and decided to use Valspar Signature paint with an eggshell finish.
My first clue that something was wrong was that the guy recommended we use primer in the bedroom. I don't know much about painting, but I was fairly sure that covering a light color with a darker color was pretty easy and shouldn't require a coat of primer. We declined that, but then he offered to give us some primer and 'add a grey tint to it' for the LR/DR. He said it would make the painting a snap, since the premium paint we bought already had a primer in it as well.
We got home, opened the primer, and I gasped! It was purple! I thought, I sure hope this guy knows what he's talking about, and started applying it to my walls, where it was VERY purple. Eggplant, almost. Dried slightly lighter, but not much. And I still didn't doubt him too much until we got back the next day and started applying the pale yellow color to the walls. We bought 3 gallons of paint, which should have covered the entire space with paint to spare. After 3 hours, and much going over and over and over the walls, I had used a whole gallon and barely painted 1/5 of the room. The purple color was seeping through the first two coats, and even the third was only just covering it.
At that point, I realized we should just get the first coat up and go back for more paint. So I quit trying to cover up all the purple and just let the primer show through the first, thin coat. I still didn't manage to get all the trim painted, either.
Is it just me, or did the guy screw up by adding the tint to the primer? Isn't primer light grey, anyway? Wouldn't it have been better to put one light color over the pink, even if it didn't cover it all the way? Like I said, I'm no expert, but I don't know that Mr. Paint Desk is, either.
Advice? Comments? Suggestions?Question about paint primer (Think I got bad advice from Lowes)?
Primer is only needed on BARE drywall or wood. If the surface has been previously painted one doesn't need to prime again. If making a drastic color change, two coats of paint may be needed. This so-called primer in the paint is just a marketing who-do.Question about paint primer (Think I got bad advice from Lowes)?
This is another reason to not ask questions of the clerks in the big-box stores. Ask the pros in a specialty store!
here's the deal with primer, you can buy primer and do one coat of primer and 2 coats of paint, or you can do 3 coats of paint, as a general rule. to me a dusty pink is actually fairly dark, so primering MAY have helped, but clearly the tinted primer was a BAD idea. NEVER buy premium paint with primer in it...its an oxymoron and it just costs more. You'd be better off buying more regular paint. Or 1 can of cheap primer.
You could call me an expert i've painted so many rooms and i've done every color on the color wheel.
Gone from white to red
Red to light beige
Beige to deep blue
Purple to light grey
Green to yellow
Light blue to brown...
you name it, i've painted it...the ONLY time i recommend a primer is when using red. Red is temperamental, primer helps it to spread on evenly, so you get an even look...
using primer before painting is always a good idea. It cuts down on the amount of paint needed and seems to help the paint be more durable once your done. But it does sound like he tinted your primer too dark. Hope it works out for you.
I also just closed on an old house with tall, dusty rose walls!! and we are painting over them as well. I think that it is common to tint the primer, however i think you are right. he messed up. maybe tinting it SO dark would have made sense for the bedroom, but you should not prime it eggplant to paint the wall light yellow. he messed up.
Does he Really love me?plzz no bad advice?
Okay my names Arielle Im 17 in high school this is my story... My boyfriend David and I have been dating for about a year now. But throughout this year we have been on a rollercoaster relationship.So I had this associate/friend named Ashley right. Well ashley had no boyfriend at the time so I hoocked her up with my boyfriends brother Ryley. Well she had an affair with my boyfriend David and I found out. So then I told her boyfriend ryley which is davids brother. So to get back at my boyfriend and X friend Ashley I cheated on my boyfriend david with his brother ryley. And Ryleys girlfriend is ashley so now my boyfriend and Ashley are mad at me but remember I did it because they both had an affair. So during the school year my best best best friend in the world Malissa found out aBOUT HOW ASHLEY HAD AN AFFAIR WITH MY BOYFRIEND DAVID, SO AT SCHOOL malissa fought her and beat ashley up for what she did to me. Well Ashley transferred after that and is now out the picture and no longer is going out with Ryley. So Ryley one day calls me and trys to hoock up with me because he's single now. Well i tell em i cant because im in love with his brother David right. Ryley tells me that my best friend malissa has been talking sexually to my boyfriend david over the phone. Well I second guesse it because I figure Ryley just wants me to get mad at david an break up with his brother and go out with him.Come to find out the friend I surely trusted (Malissa the 1 who stood up 4 me when ashley had an affair with david) was now talking with my boyfriend. God I felt sooo betrayed. Malissa and david both apologize and swear 2 never talk to each other again but i recently found out they still are but malissa denys it. This is the same way me and ashley stopped being friends and malissa knows this. I told david about how ryley threatens to rape me next time i come over and he laughs an says hes just playing is that love?..David says he loves me we even had sex together.David one time choked me in the hall way at school and sometimes punches me when he gets mad. But he says he loves me and its just out of love Whenever i hear that davids cheating i mess with his brother ryley to make him made (which works) What should I do about mallissa and David? And how do I avoid Ryley? and does david really care about me or love me? Its hard to let him go and malissa to shes like a sister but I cant take all this pain..help meDoes he Really love me?plzz no bad advice?
No, he doesn't love you.Does he Really love me?plzz no bad advice?
u need to let him go. let all of them go
No, he doesn't love you.Does he Really love me?plzz no bad advice?
u need to let him go. let all of them go
Do government assigned Lawyers ever willfully give bad advice to clients?
Lawyers, please, I am not ';out to get you';...
We are anonymous, here on YA. Please help me.
I want to know:
Did my lawyer trick me?????
too long details boring:
I'm Manic Depressive Bi Polar. My governement assigned lawyer advised me to sign away my parental rights to my first born son!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! She said that if I did NOT sign away my rights (all parental rights) She said that the GOVERNMENT would take my other child (a baby girl) and put her in foster care the instant she was BORN!
After I signed the papers and went to court, and , yes, signed away all parental rights.......
My current boyfriend, the Father of my little girl, is in my little girl's life. How could what my lawyer told me be true?????????
Surely, the OTHER parent would get custody!
My little baby girl was NOT going to go into the foster care system!!!!!!!
Did my lawyer trick me???!!!
Sure, it's not morally acceptable to lie to a client, but Golly gee, it could happen. Not of course, YOU, the lawyer, but maybe you have seen other lawyers do this? Do you allow your opinion to disrupt your work? Do you tell your client to sign away rights to her child, just cuz you ';feel '; like doing so? you think that maybe I'm not a good mother, so you tell me to just sign away my rights? and make up a story to tell me? a lie? just to get me to do what you want?
I guess there's no legal action I can take now, huh? I don't have finances to sue anyone. but I really do love my child. (He's with family now. so, it would be big arguement that would tear apart families.) They let him stay up late and sleep in until ten am. he just plays video games all day. He's fat. (my family calls and talks about the fabulouse breads, garlic and olive oil, cheese, every vegetable in butter, and then she says ';he's fat'; and ';it's YOUR fault'; its a psychological thing. YOU did this to him.'; ) It breaks my heart. I would never allow such things! We used to run and play outside ALLL day! I'm vegetarian and vegan,by the way. Not into butter and cheese, much.
I'm not always well. that is how I lost custody. what if I am Mentally ';well'; now? and how much so? I'm financially stable only because I get disability $ to care for me and my daughter. If I claim I am ';well'; to be a fit parent, then I'm ';well'; enough to go to work, and get off disability? huh? well .Ok.
Thanks for listening. Please answer the orginal question. Thank you.
I know the lawyer said I could marry the father (of my child) so it would look better on paper. The father of my first born child is not involved in his life. He has no rights.Do government assigned Lawyers ever willfully give bad advice to clients?
KNOW YOUR RIGHTS - BEFORE SOMETHING BAD HAPPENS, IF YOU CAN READ, YOU CAN READ THE LAW.... PREPARE YOURSELF AND THEN YOU WILL KNOW WHEN THEY TELL THE TRUTH OR LIE ABOUT IT.Do government assigned Lawyers ever willfully give bad advice to clients?
If I was a lawyer I'd help you out a bit more - but I was told a lawyer signs a contract that states they must always do what is in the best interest of the client - like a doctor signs one saying they will do every thing they can to save a life. If they don't they can lose their license and the ability to practice.
But, if this was always the case there wouldn't be the joke:
Why are lawyers buried 12 feet down instead of 6?
...Because REALLY deep down they're good people.
Hope this helps
You chose to omit what you were charged with and why the lawyer made the recommendation which has a bearing, in my view, on what advice a lawyer would give to you.
Being ';unwell'; is usually a case of neglect and failing to provide the necessaries of life.
You may not like the advice, but it might be better for the child.
However, you can also pursue this. Lawyers are governed in each state and you can always file a complaing if you believe you were ';tricked';.
We are anonymous, here on YA. Please help me.
I want to know:
Did my lawyer trick me?????
too long details boring:
I'm Manic Depressive Bi Polar. My governement assigned lawyer advised me to sign away my parental rights to my first born son!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! She said that if I did NOT sign away my rights (all parental rights) She said that the GOVERNMENT would take my other child (a baby girl) and put her in foster care the instant she was BORN!
After I signed the papers and went to court, and , yes, signed away all parental rights.......
My current boyfriend, the Father of my little girl, is in my little girl's life. How could what my lawyer told me be true?????????
Surely, the OTHER parent would get custody!
My little baby girl was NOT going to go into the foster care system!!!!!!!
Did my lawyer trick me???!!!
Sure, it's not morally acceptable to lie to a client, but Golly gee, it could happen. Not of course, YOU, the lawyer, but maybe you have seen other lawyers do this? Do you allow your opinion to disrupt your work? Do you tell your client to sign away rights to her child, just cuz you ';feel '; like doing so? you think that maybe I'm not a good mother, so you tell me to just sign away my rights? and make up a story to tell me? a lie? just to get me to do what you want?
I guess there's no legal action I can take now, huh? I don't have finances to sue anyone. but I really do love my child. (He's with family now. so, it would be big arguement that would tear apart families.) They let him stay up late and sleep in until ten am. he just plays video games all day. He's fat. (my family calls and talks about the fabulouse breads, garlic and olive oil, cheese, every vegetable in butter, and then she says ';he's fat'; and ';it's YOUR fault'; its a psychological thing. YOU did this to him.'; ) It breaks my heart. I would never allow such things! We used to run and play outside ALLL day! I'm vegetarian and vegan,by the way. Not into butter and cheese, much.
I'm not always well. that is how I lost custody. what if I am Mentally ';well'; now? and how much so? I'm financially stable only because I get disability $ to care for me and my daughter. If I claim I am ';well'; to be a fit parent, then I'm ';well'; enough to go to work, and get off disability? huh? well .Ok.
Thanks for listening. Please answer the orginal question. Thank you.
I know the lawyer said I could marry the father (of my child) so it would look better on paper. The father of my first born child is not involved in his life. He has no rights.Do government assigned Lawyers ever willfully give bad advice to clients?
KNOW YOUR RIGHTS - BEFORE SOMETHING BAD HAPPENS, IF YOU CAN READ, YOU CAN READ THE LAW.... PREPARE YOURSELF AND THEN YOU WILL KNOW WHEN THEY TELL THE TRUTH OR LIE ABOUT IT.Do government assigned Lawyers ever willfully give bad advice to clients?
If I was a lawyer I'd help you out a bit more - but I was told a lawyer signs a contract that states they must always do what is in the best interest of the client - like a doctor signs one saying they will do every thing they can to save a life. If they don't they can lose their license and the ability to practice.
But, if this was always the case there wouldn't be the joke:
Why are lawyers buried 12 feet down instead of 6?
...Because REALLY deep down they're good people.
Hope this helps
You chose to omit what you were charged with and why the lawyer made the recommendation which has a bearing, in my view, on what advice a lawyer would give to you.
Being ';unwell'; is usually a case of neglect and failing to provide the necessaries of life.
You may not like the advice, but it might be better for the child.
However, you can also pursue this. Lawyers are governed in each state and you can always file a complaing if you believe you were ';tricked';.
Market Bottom? How can Analysts say that? bad advice maybe? Closer to their own Bottom more like.?
Some Market experts on TV are clearly expecting a market bottom any day now, clearly some of the have called THE BOTTOM several times already this year LOL. HEY, Even a broken clock is right twice per day, yes? they will be right too one day, or soonish. LOL
Here is my point, most experts agree that a market bottom in the past is always ahead of the economy by several months.
So if projections by the International Monetary fund (IMF) are looking at a 2 year downturn and housing Builders, Realtors are looking at 2 years before the market ceases going down and Ben Bernanke and Paulson are talking in years of recession, one of the worst recessions we will have known, Buffet and Soros are talking years of recession etc.
WHAT justification do the market experts have in even thinking that a bottom is imminently close and in so doing misleading investors into buying.
Clearly there is surely ONE Full Year of the market going down till January 2010 before we can start to re evaluate the market as possibly bottoming out.
I cannot see this Market bottoming until House prices have stabilized and Houses start selling again.
What do you think? 10 Points to the Best argument either wayMarket Bottom? How can Analysts say that? bad advice maybe? Closer to their own Bottom more like.?
I can't see any justification, other than people going by the graph of the last 100 years. But the fundamentals of the economy are different than they were 50, 20 years ago - the problems now are unique and global. I have yet to see one glimmer of good news - that this nation is NOT one of total debt - that our economy isn't debt.
The optimists are going by past numbers, but the logic doesn't make sense. What basis is there to think the economy will improve anytime soon? Perhaps equities will go up eventually - but I can't see any hope in the near future. But most people might ignore that part of your question and say that well it will ';eventually'; go up, therefore it must mean that VERY SOON, you will see a bottom. They are going by the past numbers, with no foundation, except that maybe they think 100 years is always going to repeat itself by some unknown variable.Market Bottom? How can Analysts say that? bad advice maybe? Closer to their own Bottom more like.?
The Dow Jones Industrial Average reached an all time high of 14,164 exactly one year ago. Today, it closed at 8579.
People are in a panic. They see the market drop over 600 points like it did today. And they decide to sell everything because they don't know how much lower it's going to go.
President Bush is going to be speaking at 10AM on Friday, 10/10/08. The 700 billion dollar bail out didn't help. The only thing left is to close the stock market for a few days or more.art mask
Here is my point, most experts agree that a market bottom in the past is always ahead of the economy by several months.
So if projections by the International Monetary fund (IMF) are looking at a 2 year downturn and housing Builders, Realtors are looking at 2 years before the market ceases going down and Ben Bernanke and Paulson are talking in years of recession, one of the worst recessions we will have known, Buffet and Soros are talking years of recession etc.
WHAT justification do the market experts have in even thinking that a bottom is imminently close and in so doing misleading investors into buying.
Clearly there is surely ONE Full Year of the market going down till January 2010 before we can start to re evaluate the market as possibly bottoming out.
I cannot see this Market bottoming until House prices have stabilized and Houses start selling again.
What do you think? 10 Points to the Best argument either wayMarket Bottom? How can Analysts say that? bad advice maybe? Closer to their own Bottom more like.?
I can't see any justification, other than people going by the graph of the last 100 years. But the fundamentals of the economy are different than they were 50, 20 years ago - the problems now are unique and global. I have yet to see one glimmer of good news - that this nation is NOT one of total debt - that our economy isn't debt.
The optimists are going by past numbers, but the logic doesn't make sense. What basis is there to think the economy will improve anytime soon? Perhaps equities will go up eventually - but I can't see any hope in the near future. But most people might ignore that part of your question and say that well it will ';eventually'; go up, therefore it must mean that VERY SOON, you will see a bottom. They are going by the past numbers, with no foundation, except that maybe they think 100 years is always going to repeat itself by some unknown variable.Market Bottom? How can Analysts say that? bad advice maybe? Closer to their own Bottom more like.?
The Dow Jones Industrial Average reached an all time high of 14,164 exactly one year ago. Today, it closed at 8579.
People are in a panic. They see the market drop over 600 points like it did today. And they decide to sell everything because they don't know how much lower it's going to go.
President Bush is going to be speaking at 10AM on Friday, 10/10/08. The 700 billion dollar bail out didn't help. The only thing left is to close the stock market for a few days or more.
How to deal with a Dr giving bad advice?
I'm 23 weeks pregnant. I have a very VERY active baby. Strong too. My last prenatal appointment was on the 2nd. Th dr made note that during 6 months of pregnancy, I had gained too much weight, called me fat. I assured her I don't eat as much as you think. But still she told me to eat half as much, half as often. Stop drinkin juices and milk, drink water. I think she's quack but she's got the degree, so I listened. Then I didn't feel the baby move for 2 days. Went to the hospital, she's moving on te monitor, but I can't feel her. The dr telling me to eat much less, the baby is weak, and unable to make strong movements like she normally would. After the Hospitl staff telling me the Dr should have never told me to stop eating.. How do I now deal with what the doctor put me through? What would you do?How to deal with a Dr giving bad advice?
Ask to see a different doctor (it's your right), let them give you a once over and then tell them what you're doctor said and ask if this was sound advise. If your new doctor says the same thing, then you can rest assured that your doctor was right. But if they say something different, i'd change doctors, if that's possible. If it's not, carry on doing what you're doing and eating what you're eating (as long as it's healthy) and ignore what she said!! Of all the people to listen to when you're pregnant, listen to your midwife. Doctors, although they have the degree, don't specialise in pregnancy like midwives do, so listen to her!!!
I think it's awful that the doctor said you've gained too much weight. Even if you had, that's no reason for your baby to be kicking too much!!!! And if you have gained too much weight, unless it's around 1 to 2 stone more than you should, there's nothing wrong with you!! Is she sure it's YOU that's put on the weight and you've not just got a big baby? And therefore a big uterus, more water retention etc? And is she SURE it's your diet, and not something else, like maybe preeclampsia or something else? I hate it when you go to doctors and they say you've put on too much weight, and it MUST be your diet! It could be so many different other things, especially when you're pregnanat!How to deal with a Dr giving bad advice?
Well the only that you can really do is get a new Dr. Maybe even see if its grounds of a law suit! I was told that I hadn't gained enough weight, I was told to eat more... So I did and got GD. Now they want me to curve my eating habits! lol So I'm going to lose what they wanted me to gain... Dr's I tell you. Never know what they want!
I'm not a doctor, but I wouldn't think that's the best advice. You should alter your eating not stop! The baby needs milk and things like that. Maybe switch to skim, keep drinking juices but switch to all natural no sugar added...those kinds of options. Cook your foods differently that's all.
..And they never should of called you fat. Wrong wrong!
Maybe find a different doctor, keep eating the good stuff :)
The only thing you can do is just get yourself a new dr. and report report her to the appropriate pple.
But i can't understand why a dr. would tell you that. Your not fat, for crying out loud, your pregnant. My dr. told me i was now considered obese, but that was after my first pregnancy, not during. Your dr. is ignorant. Get yourself a new dr.
You ALWAYS have the option to decline recommended services when you disagree with your doctor, and obtain another opinion.
On something this drastic, you need that other opinion right away. And you don't have to return to any medical professional with whom you have such strong disagreement. As other posters have suggested -- it's time for a new doctor.
At your next doctor's appointment, tell your doctor what happened and let her know how you felt about her comments and advice. If she does not give you answers that you are happy with, go to another doctor. This is the most important thing you will ever do, you need someone in your corner that you can trust...
NEVER,go to that doctor again,and in the future,never let no body tell you to stop eating,milk is good for you babies bones,eat fruits,drink lots of water,eat healthy.Stay away from junk and drugs.
You will have a nice baby,have a safe delivery !!!
Get a new Dr. if your not comfertable w/her. How much did you gain??
She should havent called you fat......she should have asked you what you eat and how much. That was wrong..... I envey you because I would have slapped the ***** lol....
I say find a new doctor. I know you probably don't want to since you're already more than half way through your pregnancy, but do you really want this doctor delivering your baby????
I would file a report with the state board and find a new doctor ASAP. Just because a doctor tells you to do something doesn't mean don't trust your instincts. Listen to your body first.
Get a new Dr. you need to agree with the Dr. who will be deliver your baby.
This is a case of malpractice ! Get yourself a good malpractice attorney and sue!
Switch docs!
I lost my first little girl to bad Dr advice...personally I wish that pain on NO ONE. First of all Change doctors. Second write a letter of complaint to the administration of the hospital that stupid quack B**** is in and attach a letter from the new doctor about the state of the baby and how she may have endangered it. You might think that it's nothing but when you walk away and they tell you everything is fine...but then a few days later you lose her/him. It's devastating because you will always blame yourself for not knowing...and for listening to her even when you had doubts.
i also had a doctor tell me that I was getting too ';fat'; and gaining to much weight and it would be me that would have to get all this weight off after the baby (*funny thing she said this though, i worked at Dunkin Donuts at the time and she came driving through there almost every week to get her coffee and doughnut lol*).. I gained about 45 pounds with my first pregnancy and i know that was more than i should have but it was also less then i could have Ive heard of people who gained more.. it really upset me and hurt my feelings but i was to afraid to say anything to the hospital or the rest of the staff there because i was so embarrassed and i thought maybe they would think the same thing.. I never went back to that doctor and i talked to people who made me feel better and told me that i was doing fine! Definitely dont listen to this doctor! Eat what you need to for your baby!
After my Aunty nearly died of cancer(because a doctor got it wrong ) she taught me a very valuable lesson.
';Doctors are human ...they get it wrong....go with your gut....trust yourself....nobody knows your body like you do!';
She lived to tell me this because she fought to be heard..... she believed in herself and when the doctors didnt listen she MADE them.
She couldnt fix her problem without doctors help...but you can!
You can find a new doctor(who will support you) and you can do what is was that you were doing before to make your baby strong.
I am fat! I have carried two Healthy babies to term being fat. Big people have babies everyday....there are whole cultures who are large. They are still populated!
Being overweight and pregnant can have risks but a good doctor would have outlined these....not just called you fat.
Besides what one person thinks is fat varies.
EAT! Look after yourselve and your precious baby!
Get yourself a new doctor....just cause she has a degree does not make her right!
Is it possible that you misunderstood your doctors advice?? By cutting back on your food and juice intake, you would be making yourself weak, not the baby so quickly....the baby will get first choice of the nutrients for a while.....I think if you followed a healthy diet, lots of fruits, veggies, whole grains, yougart, etc. you would be fine and so would your baby.....First you said the doc said eat half as much and half as often....but then you say he said to stop eating....which is it...??? And if you did stop eating, then you are not a very smart woman.....common sense would tell you that it doesn't sound right.....Plus, if you can ask this forum what to do after the fact, you could have asked for opinions on that advice before you followed it!!
how dare she!!! you are never supposed to ';diet'; while prego and any real dr. would know that. I am not a dr, but a mother of 2 boys and i gained a lot of weight wit my last and my dr. loved it! I say go back to what your were doin at 1st to make your baby have his/her energy back, they need it. The baby weight will come off and the baby will be healthy and i would find another dr. ASAP!!!! Some dr.s are in it only for the money not the care of the patient. sounds like you were doin fine sweetie and your baby was enjoying you eating. Hope this helps and i hope you continue doin well!!!
if the baby is weakened or suffers permanent damage from the ';doctor';'s bad advice, get a lawyer and get a copy of your medical file. however, unless you severely restricted your caloric intake, 2 days should not make that much of a difference in the long run. go back to eating to meet yours and the baby's needs.
don't forget, your body will nourish the baby first. so whatever you eat will go to her, then the leftovers to you. so if you felt ok, then you probably didn't restrict your eating enough to harm her either.
This is exactly why I no longer go to people with degrees. Just because they are the ';experts'; does not mean that they are. Doctors and teachers and many others that take care of people are not treating people, they are treating the disease or by the book. Each individual is different and different things are for different people. It took me 35 years to realize and now have done my own research on things. People thumbs down me a lot, especially on my immunization answers, but I researched and found out. Doctors are NOT God and the government has scared us into things. You need to find another doctor or better yet, a midwife. I will keep you and your baby in my prayers.
Ask to see a different doctor (it's your right), let them give you a once over and then tell them what you're doctor said and ask if this was sound advise. If your new doctor says the same thing, then you can rest assured that your doctor was right. But if they say something different, i'd change doctors, if that's possible. If it's not, carry on doing what you're doing and eating what you're eating (as long as it's healthy) and ignore what she said!! Of all the people to listen to when you're pregnant, listen to your midwife. Doctors, although they have the degree, don't specialise in pregnancy like midwives do, so listen to her!!!
I think it's awful that the doctor said you've gained too much weight. Even if you had, that's no reason for your baby to be kicking too much!!!! And if you have gained too much weight, unless it's around 1 to 2 stone more than you should, there's nothing wrong with you!! Is she sure it's YOU that's put on the weight and you've not just got a big baby? And therefore a big uterus, more water retention etc? And is she SURE it's your diet, and not something else, like maybe preeclampsia or something else? I hate it when you go to doctors and they say you've put on too much weight, and it MUST be your diet! It could be so many different other things, especially when you're pregnanat!How to deal with a Dr giving bad advice?
Well the only that you can really do is get a new Dr. Maybe even see if its grounds of a law suit! I was told that I hadn't gained enough weight, I was told to eat more... So I did and got GD. Now they want me to curve my eating habits! lol So I'm going to lose what they wanted me to gain... Dr's I tell you. Never know what they want!
I'm not a doctor, but I wouldn't think that's the best advice. You should alter your eating not stop! The baby needs milk and things like that. Maybe switch to skim, keep drinking juices but switch to all natural no sugar added...those kinds of options. Cook your foods differently that's all.
..And they never should of called you fat. Wrong wrong!
Maybe find a different doctor, keep eating the good stuff :)
The only thing you can do is just get yourself a new dr. and report report her to the appropriate pple.
But i can't understand why a dr. would tell you that. Your not fat, for crying out loud, your pregnant. My dr. told me i was now considered obese, but that was after my first pregnancy, not during. Your dr. is ignorant. Get yourself a new dr.
You ALWAYS have the option to decline recommended services when you disagree with your doctor, and obtain another opinion.
On something this drastic, you need that other opinion right away. And you don't have to return to any medical professional with whom you have such strong disagreement. As other posters have suggested -- it's time for a new doctor.
At your next doctor's appointment, tell your doctor what happened and let her know how you felt about her comments and advice. If she does not give you answers that you are happy with, go to another doctor. This is the most important thing you will ever do, you need someone in your corner that you can trust...
NEVER,go to that doctor again,and in the future,never let no body tell you to stop eating,milk is good for you babies bones,eat fruits,drink lots of water,eat healthy.Stay away from junk and drugs.
You will have a nice baby,have a safe delivery !!!
Get a new Dr. if your not comfertable w/her. How much did you gain??
She should havent called you fat......she should have asked you what you eat and how much. That was wrong..... I envey you because I would have slapped the ***** lol....
I say find a new doctor. I know you probably don't want to since you're already more than half way through your pregnancy, but do you really want this doctor delivering your baby????
I would file a report with the state board and find a new doctor ASAP. Just because a doctor tells you to do something doesn't mean don't trust your instincts. Listen to your body first.
Get a new Dr. you need to agree with the Dr. who will be deliver your baby.
This is a case of malpractice ! Get yourself a good malpractice attorney and sue!
Switch docs!
I lost my first little girl to bad Dr advice...personally I wish that pain on NO ONE. First of all Change doctors. Second write a letter of complaint to the administration of the hospital that stupid quack B**** is in and attach a letter from the new doctor about the state of the baby and how she may have endangered it. You might think that it's nothing but when you walk away and they tell you everything is fine...but then a few days later you lose her/him. It's devastating because you will always blame yourself for not knowing...and for listening to her even when you had doubts.
i also had a doctor tell me that I was getting too ';fat'; and gaining to much weight and it would be me that would have to get all this weight off after the baby (*funny thing she said this though, i worked at Dunkin Donuts at the time and she came driving through there almost every week to get her coffee and doughnut lol*).. I gained about 45 pounds with my first pregnancy and i know that was more than i should have but it was also less then i could have Ive heard of people who gained more.. it really upset me and hurt my feelings but i was to afraid to say anything to the hospital or the rest of the staff there because i was so embarrassed and i thought maybe they would think the same thing.. I never went back to that doctor and i talked to people who made me feel better and told me that i was doing fine! Definitely dont listen to this doctor! Eat what you need to for your baby!
After my Aunty nearly died of cancer(because a doctor got it wrong ) she taught me a very valuable lesson.
';Doctors are human ...they get it wrong....go with your gut....trust yourself....nobody knows your body like you do!';
She lived to tell me this because she fought to be heard..... she believed in herself and when the doctors didnt listen she MADE them.
She couldnt fix her problem without doctors help...but you can!
You can find a new doctor(who will support you) and you can do what is was that you were doing before to make your baby strong.
I am fat! I have carried two Healthy babies to term being fat. Big people have babies everyday....there are whole cultures who are large. They are still populated!
Being overweight and pregnant can have risks but a good doctor would have outlined these....not just called you fat.
Besides what one person thinks is fat varies.
EAT! Look after yourselve and your precious baby!
Get yourself a new doctor....just cause she has a degree does not make her right!
Is it possible that you misunderstood your doctors advice?? By cutting back on your food and juice intake, you would be making yourself weak, not the baby so quickly....the baby will get first choice of the nutrients for a while.....I think if you followed a healthy diet, lots of fruits, veggies, whole grains, yougart, etc. you would be fine and so would your baby.....First you said the doc said eat half as much and half as often....but then you say he said to stop eating....which is it...??? And if you did stop eating, then you are not a very smart woman.....common sense would tell you that it doesn't sound right.....Plus, if you can ask this forum what to do after the fact, you could have asked for opinions on that advice before you followed it!!
how dare she!!! you are never supposed to ';diet'; while prego and any real dr. would know that. I am not a dr, but a mother of 2 boys and i gained a lot of weight wit my last and my dr. loved it! I say go back to what your were doin at 1st to make your baby have his/her energy back, they need it. The baby weight will come off and the baby will be healthy and i would find another dr. ASAP!!!! Some dr.s are in it only for the money not the care of the patient. sounds like you were doin fine sweetie and your baby was enjoying you eating. Hope this helps and i hope you continue doin well!!!
if the baby is weakened or suffers permanent damage from the ';doctor';'s bad advice, get a lawyer and get a copy of your medical file. however, unless you severely restricted your caloric intake, 2 days should not make that much of a difference in the long run. go back to eating to meet yours and the baby's needs.
don't forget, your body will nourish the baby first. so whatever you eat will go to her, then the leftovers to you. so if you felt ok, then you probably didn't restrict your eating enough to harm her either.
This is exactly why I no longer go to people with degrees. Just because they are the ';experts'; does not mean that they are. Doctors and teachers and many others that take care of people are not treating people, they are treating the disease or by the book. Each individual is different and different things are for different people. It took me 35 years to realize and now have done my own research on things. People thumbs down me a lot, especially on my immunization answers, but I researched and found out. Doctors are NOT God and the government has scared us into things. You need to find another doctor or better yet, a midwife. I will keep you and your baby in my prayers.
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